


It's Complicated Even When It Doesn't Have To Be

by remanth



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dreams, Hydra, M/M, Nightmares, SHIELD, Sparring, Stark Tower, Stony - Freeform, The Tower - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-01-18 07:54:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1420435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remanth/pseuds/remanth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony wakes up from a nightmare and decides to wander through the Avenger's Tower. Downstairs, he meets with Steve and the two start sparring. What could go wrong from there?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dream

_It was happening again. A desperate plan to get rid of a nuclear bomb headed for Manhattan. Time carefully, grab hold of the casing and use its momentum to get closer to the portal. Fire off the thrusters and turn it upwards. Shoot past Stark Tower where Natasha stood holding Loki’s staff. Up, up, up, further than could even be believed. Then, it happened. One second flying through the blue air with clouds around and the next, black. A black so complete and solid that it was like flying into velvet. It was beautiful in a stark and terrifying way. Didn’t have long now, just a few more seconds before the bomb exploded. Listening to JARVIS, watching the screens fade away as the call to Pepper failed. Why didn’t she pick up? Was she safe? Did she know what was going on? Time to let go now, let the bomb destroy the enemy. The final seconds tick away, breath stuttering heavily, loud in the metal helmet. Hmm, design flaw. Maybe the next suit needs to be designed with its own oxygen tank of some sort. Would be heavy, awkward. Maybe work it into the same system that deals with waste? Don’t want to be breathing in that, though. Possibly not the best idea. A brilliant flash, so completely silent in the enveloping black. Manhattan is safe and it looks like the monsters here are useless without the mothership the nuke destroyed. Last breaths now, oxygen running out. One way trip, knew this was a one way trip. Steve was right and he was wrong at the same time. Heroics are sometimes part of the job, he knew this was my death. But sometimes there is no other way out, no wire to cut. Blackness invading helmet, falling, falling. Least its pretty... out.... here....._.

Gasping hard, Tony snapped awake in his bed in what was now dubbed the Avenger’s Tower, sitting bolt upright. The room was dark and he panicked, drawing in heavy breaths that didn’t seem to be getting to his lungs. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, Tony fought with his sheet for a few seconds until he managed to disentangle himself from them. Lurching upright, he scrambled for the light switch near the door. Once the lights were on, Tony could see he was indeed in his own bedroom. The bed was a mess, the blanket hanging half off the other side while the sheet was tangled and rumpled over his side. Still his side, even though Pepper was no longer here with him. It was difficult knowing she’d ultimately chosen someone else, loved someone else, but it was a comfort that she was no longer a target due to him. A small comfort.

“JARVIS, time?” Tony choked out, throat dry and unwilling to work properly. He had to swallow several times before it stopped feeling like the center of the Sahara desert.

“It is 2:36 in the morning, sir,” the AI replied smoothly, voice unruffled and calming. “Is there anything you require?”

“No, no, just gonna go for a walk,” Tony muttered, running his fingers through his hair distractedly. He’d only been asleep for about an hour after finally working himself into exhaustion. Three days straight in the lab’ll do that to you. He shook his head as he padded out of his room, trying to clear the dream, no call it what it was, the _nightmare_ from his mind. It was so familiar, all the more so for being true to events that had happened. Tony had never felt so small, so _insignificant_ in his life as when he’d been floating through that inky black space above the portal.

Thinking about it yet again, Tony had to stop walking and press his back against the wall of the hallway. It was that or collapse. He could feel the panic attack take hold, breath heaving in his chest. There was no way to predict them or control them when they started. He could only avoid speaking about certain things and ride out the attacks when they came. Though this one, hard on the heels of that perpetual nightmare, was especially difficult. Tears streaked down Tony’s face as he shivered, arms wrapped around his stomach. A gut-wrenching fear had him looking up and down the hallway, wondering if that black velvet space was going to come back and take him for good this time. Or maybe he wouldn’t get away from the blast in time and be incinerated along with the Chitauri mothership. Gradually, as the panic attack loosened its claw, Tony became aware of a quiet melody playing in the hallway. JARVIS, watching over him as usual and playing a lullaby to help Tony calm down.

“Thanks, JARVIS,” Tony mumbled, knowing the AI would hear him. He wiped a hand over his face, scrubbing it on his sweatpants when it came away wet. 

“Of course, sir,” JARVIS replied, a thread of concern in his voice.

Tony took a deep breath and pushed off from the wall. He started down the hallway, wanting to be outside for a bit. There was a balcony a floor down and it looked better than it had before it had been trashed by Loki and the Hulk. And the glass was much thicker and stronger. A quick elevator ride later and Tony was walking across marble floor towards the windows. The city was still awake, lights flashing as cars drove past. There weren’t many lights on in the high-rises adjacent to the tower but that’s not where Tony was looking anyways. He was looking up, up at a clear night sky speckled with stars. There was no moon tonight, nothing to relieve the unrelenting black except for New York City’s skyline and the stars.

“You gotta let it go,” Tony muttered to himself, his hands shaking again. That sky was too similar to the blackness he’d flown into, too similar to what he was trying to run away from. Looking up into that deep black sky didn’t bring wonder anymore, just terror.

Turning away, Tony headed back to the elevator. Maybe just walking the Tower would help get the nightmare out of his head. He bypassed Natasha’s floor, knowing she was out on a mission with Clint. She and Clint had been unsurprisingly close-mouthed about it but Tony hadn’t even been able to get an answer from Fury. Or from all his hacking into the S.H.I.E.L.D. database. Maybe he’d be able to wheedle it out of Clint when they got back. Pushing a button with a small smile, Tony headed for Bruce’s floor. Natasha tended to booby-trap her floor anyways and Tony wanted no part of that.

The elevator dropped him at Bruce’s floor with a quiet ding and Tony stepped out. The hallway looked just like all the others, an off-white with a dark brown floor. A quiet moan came from Bruce’s room and Tony stepped forwards. If the guy was fighting something... But strangled words followed the moan, enough that Tony could tell Bruce was fighting nightmares of his own. With a regretful sigh, Tony stepped back towards the elevator. While he wanted to help, Tony didn’t think he was in any shape to give any comfort to another while dealing with his own demons. Besides, there was music coming from Bruce’s room now, music that was similar to that which Jarvis had played for him. Bruce would surface from his nightmare soon.

The next stop on Tony’s Tour of the Tower, as he’d started calling it in his head, was Captain America’s floor. Or Steve, as the guy had asked them all to call him after dealing with the Chitauri invasion. There was an innocence about the guy that Tony liked to needle at, jokes that made him blush and look away. There wasn’t much that Tony felt shame or embarrassment about and he delighted in making some off-color jokes around Steve whenever he could. Yet Steve’s floor was completely silent when the elevator let Tony off. The bedroom door was even open, the signal that Steve wasn’t there at all. He was a stickler for etiquette rules like that, even knocking when the door was open before entering a room. Of course, Steve slept about as little as Tony himself did these days.

The next floor down was Clint’s floor and Tony decided not to stop there either. With Clint being gone, there was nothing interesting on that floor. Though there were a few times that Tony could do with Clint being a little less interesting. The guy could manage to get himself into the strangest positions in order to scare the living crap out of Tony. The first time he’d done it, Clint had managed to hang upside from one of the ceiling vents. Tony had jumped about a foot into the air and sideways while Clint laughed his ass off. While Natasha liked to set traps with tripwires and things on her floor, Clint preferred to use himself. Which meant the next stop Tony made was on Thor’s floor.

Tony stepped off the elevator and had to shake his head. Thor had redecorated the hallway, bringing in some Asgardian items. There were a few banners on one side while golden sconces took up the other side. Tony studied those carefully, trying to figure out exactly what kept them lit. It wasn’t a flame nor was it a lightbulb. The only conclusion Tony could reach was that it was Asgard technology. Maybe an image projector as there was no heat coming from it. A burst of laughter caught his attention, definitively female laughter. Jane was visiting Thor here in New York, taking a break from her current project with S.H.I.E.L.D. She and Tony had had some interesting discussions the last time she was here though their interests were fairly divergent. Thor’s voice answered Jane’s laughter followed by a squeal. Tony grinned and headed back to the elevator. They didn’t need him interrupting right now.

Skipping down to the bottom floor of the tower was an easy decision. The next couple floors were R&D and his and Bruce’s labs. Tony could recreate every inch of each floor from memory and didn’t need to wander through them again tonight. Besides, walking into his lab would pull him into some project and work was the last thing Tony needed right now. The bottom floor of the tower was the most diverse, holding the kitchen, a gym and sparring arena, a large bathroom and showering area, a swimming pool, and a giant media room. Sharp thunking sounds accompanied by a grunt told Tony that Steve was down here, working out in the gym. Instead of heading to the kitchen for a snack, which was his first intention, Tony turned his steps towards the gym.

“Hey, Capsicle,” Tony greeted, waving at the other man. “Couldn’t sleep either, huh?”

“I spent long enough sleeping, don’t you think?” Steve replied dryly, going back to sparring with the punching bag. It didn’t last long, though, as the bag flew of the ring after two more punches. With a deep sigh, Steve turned and picked up one of the bags lying on the ground behind him and setting it up. “What are you doing up, Stark?”

“Nightmares,” Tony replied honestly, for once not cracking a witty joke. He was way too tired for that right now. “Decided to wander the Tower and heard you beating up those poor punching bags down here. Seriously, what did they ever do to you?”

“Well, this one is called the Tesseract,” Steve laughed, stepping back and starting to undo the tape on his hands. “It’s part of the reason I got stuck in the ice.”

Steve shivered then, remembering the searing cold and burning pain of ice and water. It still seemed like a miracle he’d survived, something that shouldn’t be yet somehow was. It was strange, trying to fit into this new world without anyone he knew from the old. The only person still alive was Peggy but Steve was hesitant to go and see her. There were too many could-have-beens between them, too much not said and Steve didn’t want to hurt her with all that. Besides, she’d have moved on from him, lived her own life. She didn’t need to be bothered with a ghost from the past. It helped a little, being here in New York City, so close to where he’d grown up. Yet it was hard to see where things were so different.

“Want to spar with me?” Steve asked, turning to Tony when the silence stretched on far too long. “Since you’re obviously having problems sleeping too, a little exercise might help tire you out.”

“Yeah, sure, what the hell,” Tony replied, walking to the bench against the wall that Steve had put his gym bag on. He pulled out the tape and started wrapping his hands. “Got nothing better to do. Tony’s Tour of the Tower has officially ended.”

Steve laughed again, catching the roll of tape when Tony tossed it to him. He re-wrapped his hands as Tony sauntered to the sparring arena, every inch of him screaming confidence. Steve had learned by now that everything Tony did was accompanied by that confidence though his sharp eyes caught the slight tremble in Tony’s hands. Sometimes, that confidence was only a veneer, much like tonight for both of them. There was a boxing ring in the center of the sparring arena. That boxing ring was regulation size while a smaller one was off to the right side. A few benches lined the walls though they were mostly unused. Tony was waiting for Steve in the center of the ring, running his fingers over the tape on his hands idly. It was a nervous tick, something for him to concentrate on instead of the nightmare that had sent him down here in the first place.

Tony thought he was ready for the moment Steve stepped into the ring, expected a handshake or a nod before they actually got down to sparring. But that’s not what he got. That’s not what happened at all. Without warning, Steve rushed at Tony, all silence and fury as he used his enhanced speed to cut through the distance between them before Tony could even blink. Tony’s back hit the mat with a resonating thunk, breath huffing out in a surprised gasp. Steve held him down for a couple seconds, counting to three before letting Tony out of the pin. Tony took a moment to take a deep breath then glared at Steve. The soldier merely shrugged, a grin pulling at his lips.

“If that’s the way you want to play it,” Tony said, getting to his feet and squaring himself. Steve shrugged and set his feet for another charge. This time, Tony rushed Steve and managed to knock him into the ropes. They grappled for a few moments, Tony desperately trying to get a firm grip on Steve’s arms. A leg-sweep from Steve had Tony toppling to the mat again with Steve pinning him for another three seconds before letting him up. Tony had barely managed to get to his feet again before Steve was on him, twisting one arm behind Tony’s back while wrapping an arm over Tony’s throat. Tony managed to drive his elbow back into Steve’s stomach, dislodging the other man enough to get a deep breath. That blow was followed by another to the stomach and Tony stomping on Steve’s foot before Steve couldn’t hold on anymore.

They fought back and forth, Steve pinning Tony to the mat several more times. This was the hardest Tony had worked at something physical in a long time and it was exhilarating. It didn’t matter that Steve had enhanced strength and speed and stamina (pretty much enhanced _everything_ ), Tony managed to get out of about a third of the holds. And he’d managed to pin Steve a couple times, something he’d grinned fiercely about. The sparring was quick and merciless, both pulling dirty tricks on the other. Though how Steve knew that many dirty tricks, Tony could only guess. Maybe he’d picked it up in all the fights he’d been in when he was younger, had seen what the bullies did and filed it away. That’s what Tony would do, if he didn’t have his technological genius.

All thoughts of suffocating black or nightmares were driven out of Tony’s head by their fight. He was breathing hard and sweating but he felt completely _alive_. And there were parts of him that were waking up again. Adrenaline coursed through Tony’s body and he was having a harder and harder time fighting off the arousal that was pounding through him. Steve was definitely attractive, there was no doubt about that. Yet Tony had done nothing other than make a few jokes here and there. Steve came from a different time, a time that seemed far more close-minded and distant than the current one. At least to Tony. And they’d started to become friends since the fight in New York and Tony hadn’t wanted to ruin that. But there was a point he couldn’t control it anymore, couldn’t hide what their sparring was doing to him.

Steve had pinned him yet again, breath huffing across Tony’s hair as Steve counted to three like he’d done countless times this night. But this time, Steve’s leg rubbed across Tony’s hips as he moved to get up. This time, Steve definitely didn’t miss the erection that had grown between Tony’s legs. He blushed a bright crimson, standing up far quicker than he had before and moving towards the ropes. Tony held back a groan of disappointment and ran a hand through his hair. He stood up slowly, turning away from Steve to try and hide his reaction.

“So, I think we’re good for now,” Steve said, voice a little high-pitched and words quick. He slipped out of the ring, not meeting Tony’s eyes. He grabbed his bag on the run, not even bothering to make sure it was closed or unwrapping his hands. “Good night.”

“Good night,” Tony called after the retreating soldier, picking at the tape on his hands. He glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was almost four in the morning. Counting his jaunt through Tower, he’d been sparring with Steve for about an hour. And now had possibly ruined everything with a treacherous body. The empty room almost seemed to mock him as Tony turned out the lights. “Well, shit.”


	2. Talent

Face still burning with embarrassment and a touch of shame, Steve hurried to the elevator. He hoped to make it inside before Tony left the sparring arena, hoped he wouldn’t have to share an elevator with the other man. The elevator was still on this floor from Tony’s trip down and Steve breathed a sigh of relief as the doors closed behind him. Sinking back against the wall, Steve took the few moments it took to reach his floor to make sure everything was still in his bag and zip it up. It was really strange to think he had his own floor in this tower. He was far more used to single bedroom apartments or small tents in the middle of a war. This luxury was all still uncomfortably new.

With a quiet ding, the doors opened and Steve padded into his room. He closed the door behind him, relaxing even more at the sanctuary his room had become. It was rather spartan, the bed neatly made and the blinds covering the windows. There was an old radio on the desk against the wall across from the bed and a simple metal lamp next to it. The lamp was currently set to its lowest setting, a soft golden light highlighting the drawing Steve had been working on before heading down to the gym. He rolled his eyes at the image, wondering if it was his imagination or if the light really did highlight Tony’s face more in the image. He’d been working from a photograph, one taken of them all in the aftermath of the battle in the city. Still staring at that drawing, Steve dropped his bag on the floor next to the desk.

What had happened? The sparring had been going really well. Tony wasn’t a massive challenge for Steve at all. Though he’d definitely been surprised by some of the moves Tony had pulled. He’d been pinned a few times, though not nearly as much as he’d pinned Tony. When he’d been in boot camp, Steve had noticed that arousal sometimes followed physical activity. It was just a chemical reaction, one that had happened to him a few times. It had been a sort of unspoken rule that the others had ignored it whenever it happened. After all, they were out of contact with anyone to date or things like that. Things happened. Was that what was going on with Tony? The guy had made no secret of his own knowledge and activities. There were a few jokes and anecdotes that Steve still couldn’t believe Tony had told them all. Yet there was a common thread within all the stories Tony told about himself: they were all with women.

There had been so many things to read about, to learn about when he woke up after his long sleep. Wars and elections and social movements and deaths and births. A lot of what people seemed to take for granted Steve found absolutely fascinating while other things people felt they couldn’t live without, Steve couldn’t find the appeal. Though there was one thing that Steve did enjoy about this time: they studied and gave names to all sorts of things. It had bothered him a little, not knowing if his attraction to both women and men was abnormal or not. He’d assumed it was abnormal, considering that no one he’d ever met or heard about felt the same way. He knew about the guys who preferred men and the women who preferred women but there was never anyone who preferred _both_. It was a comfort, now, to know there were others who felt the same way. That there was a term for what he felt. Steve was still getting used to the word bisexual in his mind but it _felt_ right. And that was enough for now.

Steve sank down into the chair at his desk, closing his sketchbook and shoving it to the edge of the desk. Tony was the last thing he wanted to think about right now. Every indication was that the guy was straight and Steve didn’t need that complication. No matter that half of his sketchbook was filled with sketches of Tony and his dreams often featured the sarcastic man. Unwrapping his hands slowly, Steve had to shake his head at himself. He should be happy that he was still alive, that there was a place for him in this strange future. There could just as easily been nowhere for him to go and he might have ended up homeless on the streets. S.H.I.E.L.D. had been invaluable in helping him assimilate and learn about this time. There was no reason to change the situation, to put in jeopardy his place here. It was time to follow that unspoken rule and just forget it. Let it go.

Once his hands were unwrapped, Steve dropped the tape into the garbage can under his desk and headed towards the bathroom. This was definitely one of his favorite luxuries. Having hot water for as long as he wanted was amazing and not having to share was just icing on the cake. Steve turned the taps until the bathroom was steamy and the water was as hot as he liked it. Stepping under the hot spray was heavenly. It beat down on Steve’s shoulders, loosening some of the knots that had been there since he’d started punching the punching bags. It was so much better than the measly showers he’d had in his childhood home or in the army. But feeling those knots ease made Steve think of what had put them there in the first place. It had seemed natural and easy talking to Tony, sharing a joke and laughing together. Their sparring had had a rhythm to it, something Steve had lost himself to. As he lathered up with soap, Steve’s mind wandered to the end of their sparring, to the last time he’d had Tony pinned underneath him.

As he replayed the moment he’d brushed his leg across Tony’s hips, Steve’s hand slicked over one nipple. It brought a surprised groan from deep in his throat and Steve froze as panic speared through him. Had anyone heard that? Had anyone seen him? But there was silence from the rest of the bathroom, still hazy with steam beyond the curtain of the shower. Steve huffed out a relieved breath as he remembered he wasn't in an army camp anymore, had this whole floor to himself. There was no one to see him and judge if he decided to indulge himself. Just this once, Steve promised himself, skimming a hand over his nipple again. He pictured Tony’s face, flushed and sweaty though with a gleam in his eyes. He’d enjoyed their sparring too, maybe just as much as Steve had. Another groan rumbled in Steve’s throat as he remembered the smirk Tony had given him when he’d pinned Steve. That smirk promised way too many things that Steve knew Tony didn’t really mean. It was a talent of both of theirs, he supposed. Tony’s to offer without meaning and Steve’s to want without any hope of fulfillment.

Sliding his hand down, Steve braced himself with the other against the shower wall. He could feel his erection growing, though it didn’t have all that far to go. He’d been half hard himself when they were finished though he’d gotten much more practice at hiding it. His nails left red trails on his abdomen as Steve raked over his skin, breath huffing out as he tipped his head back. He was breathing hard now, chest heaving up and down as Steve teased at the skin just under his belly button. It was especially sensitive and just took the barest touch of fingertips to drive spikes down to his toes. Steve moaned quietly as he skimmed his hand back up his side, pinching his nipple and rolling it between his fingers for a moment. He imagined it was Tony touching him, imagined that he hadn’t run out and had stayed. Then, Steve moved his hand up to his neck, tracing meaningless designs just over his pulse with his nails. In his mind, Steve could see Tony smirking at him and a mischievous gleam come into his eyes. His hand cupped his jaw, pulling down to open his mouth just slightly. A finger teased at Steve’s lips, tracing the bottom curve as Steve’s hips started to move. Little motions forward and back, just enough to move the steam past his body in eddying whirls.

The finger that had been teasing at his lips slipped inside his mouth and Steve closed his lips around it. He sucked hard, laving his tongue over the entire length of it. It felt good and Steve felt his knees going a little weak. Slowly, he pumped the finger in and out of his mouth, leaning his head against the shower wall next to his hand. By now, his erection was fully hard and throbbing, fluid leaking from the tip. And this was all the teasing Steve could handle. Without any hesitation, he pulled his finger from his mouth slowly and trailed it down the center of his chest. He skipped over the skin of his abdomen, not wanting to get distracted. His finger grazed the top side of his erection and Steve groaned loudly. He wasn’t worried anymore about anyone hearing him. He was too lost in his thoughts, lost in the idea of Tony touching him. 

“That’s it,” Steve muttered, wrapping his fingers around the head of his erection and squeezing gently. “Feels so good.”

In his mind, Tony whispered something filthy in his ear, something that made Steve gasp and squeeze harder. That caused Steve’s hips to stutter forward and his grip slipped. Catching his breath, a little surprised at the depth of his own mind even if those specific words had come out of Tony’s mouth during one story, Steve wrapped his fingers around his erection again. He pumped slowly, moving his hips in the same rhythm. Now Steve imagined Tony ranging himself over him, head tilted down to suck at the side of his neck. It was Tony’s hand stroking him, Tony’s voice encouraging Steve to move, to make noise, to let Tony hear him. Steve willingly obliged his mental partner, moans and gasps and pleas for more falling from his lips. His hand moved faster over his erection, fingers squeezing at the head every time he came up. Soon, all his muscles were tightening and Steve had to lean into the wall to keep himself upright. One hand braced just wasn’t enough.

Of course, leaning freed up that second hand and Steve immediately reached down and cupped his balls. He kneaded and pressed in time with his other hand, driving himself closer and closer to the edge. A searing heat grew in his belly and Steve’s mouth was wide open as he panted. He was teetering on the edge when one finger slid back, gliding over the skin behind his balls and stopping. This was accompanied by Tony whispering something else in his mind, a suggestion that Steve nodded eagerly to. Steve’s finger played with the tight muscle at his entrance, tracing over it lightly before pressing inside. He spread his legs wide, slowing his other hand to enjoy these new sensations. Pumping his finger in and out slowly felt sinfully good and Steve couldn’t help groaning out Tony’s name. He worked himself slowly open, slipping in and out until he could fit his finger in to the last knuckle. Now, Steve sped up both of his hands, hips pumping back and forth as he couldn’t decide which feeling was better. He was so close now, toes curling and wordless gasps coming from his mouth. But it wasn’t until he crooked his finger inside himself, along with a mental image of Tony lowering his head to suck on one nipple, that Steve came with a shout.

“Oh god,” Steve murmured, eyes squeezed tightly closed. “Tony, please don’t stop.”

Steve stroked himself through his orgasm, not slowing down until he couldn’t stand to touch himself anymore. His other hand stayed still, finger buried deep inside as he pressed gently with the tip. Finally, Steve let out a shaky breath and opened his eyes. He was alone in the shower, the steam still billowing around him. There was something hollow and empty in his chest alongside the satisfaction and warmth. Slowly, he pulled his finger out and let go of his softening erection. The image of Tony faded away, a fond nostalgia accompanying it. Once would have to do, would have to be enough to last a lifetime. After all, they were teammates and Tony viewed him as a friend, a fellow Avenger. There was no need to complicate things. They’d had a rocky enough start as it was.

Finishing his shower quickly, Steve towelled off and headed into his room. He pulled a pair of boxers out of the dresser next to his desk and slipped into them. The darkness that crept in under his blinds had a grayer tinge to it and Steve knew that the sun would be coming up soon. A full day of work and S.H.I.E.L.D. and a new prototype shield. And who knows what might happen? There were plenty of people out there who were enemies, who would hurt and kill the innocent to achieve their ends. That’s what Steve should be concentrating on, not things that would never happen. After all, it was another talent of his to adapt to circumstances and move on.


	3. Strength

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are spoilers for Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier and Agents of Shield ahead. While the events in my story will not follow exactly what happened in either movie or show, the main plot point is spoilered. So read at your own risk.

A buzzing sound brought Tony out of the dream he’d been having. A dream this time rather than a nightmare. Light was streaming in the windows and JARVIS was droning on about the news headlines for the day. But all Tony could think of was the dream he’d been woken up from. He hadn’t seen very much but, oh, he could feel and hear. He could feel hands caressing his skin, feel warm skin underneath his own. He could feel the rise and fall of chests and the desperate kisses exchanged. And Tony could hear wordless groans and pleas, could hear gasping and the sound of skin sliding against skin. It was very much a pleasant dream though Tony had a feeling even though he hadn’t seen his partner, he knew exactly who it was. And every single reason why he shouldn’t be dreaming of him.

“JARVIS, what’s on for today?” Tony asked suddenly, interrupting the news headlines.

“Sir, you and Captain Rogers are scheduled to go to S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters today to examine a new prototype shield for the captain,” JARVIS replied, switching topics easily. “Then there are some alien technological artifacts that Director Fury would like you to examine.”

“Asgardian?” Tony asked, interest peaked. Maybe this was something he could drag Thor away from the Tower with, get him out into the world a bit. Spending all his time holed up here with Jane probably wasn’t good for the guy, right?

“Unclear, sir,” JARVIS replied, a touch of confusion in his voice. “Director Fury was adamant in his use of alien rather than Asgard. He seems to not know himself what kind of technology it is.”

A chill went up Tony’s back as he thought about the Chitauri. Pieces of their technology were scattered all through New York and probably further. It would be fascinating to study it, to learn from their advanced tech, but Tony doubted he could without remembering flying through that portal. His breath started to come in short pants as anxiety gripped him. Heart hammering, Tony lurched into the bathroom as his stomach rolled. He turned the shower on hot and sat down on the toilet, waiting while the room filled with steam. It was different from that velvet blackness that threatened to drag him down and overwhelm him. Different from the searing cold Tony had felt even through his suit. Finally, after an interminable time, the tremors faded away and Tony could breathe normally again. He hated the panic attacks, hated how weak he felt whenever he had them. But there was nothing he could about them other than last through.

Stepping into the shower, Tony let the hot water run over him and imagined it was washing away all memory of his panic attack. The dream he’d had earlier reasserted itself and Tony grinned. It wasn’t the first he’d had about Steve Rogers and he doubted it would be the last. But the guy was uptight and straightlaced, a touch old fashioned and all about mom and apple pie. There was probably more chance for snow in hell than that Steve might be interested in a guy. Especially one who suffered from panic attacks and couldn’t let the past go. Tony cleaned quickly, still thinking about the dream and quirking his lips up in a small smile. Once he was done in the shower, Tony towelled off and dressed just as quickly. He didn’t really bother to look too closely at his clothes; as long as they were comfortable, they were good enough for working at S.H.I.E.L.D.

Tony headed out to the elevator, whistling a tuneless melody. His mood was definitely improved after the nightmare from the night before. Sparring with Steve and the dream he’d had after were great to combat the panic and terror. Of course, the ending of their sparring brought a flush of embarrassment to Tony’s cheeks, something he’d thought he’d learned to control years ago. And the flush only deepened when the elevator let him out on the bottom floor to head into the kitchen. Steve was sitting there with a newspaper, brow furrowed slightly as he alternated bites of cereal with reading. Tony cleared his throat and turned away, grabbing a bowl and the milk until the flush cooled. Wouldn’t be good for Steve to see that.

“Good morning,” Steve said, voice carefully neutral. He didn’t look at Tony for too long, memories of his shower and the fantasy-Tony running through his mind.

“Morning,” Tony replied cheerfully, sitting down across from Steve and pouring cereal into his bowl. He added milk and took a bite, talking around the food in his mouth. “Sleep well after sparring? I know it exhausted me.”

“I did sleep well,” Steve replied, a touch of surprise in his voice. It was one of the deepest nights’ sleep he’d had since waking up from the ice. It had felt wonderful for a few moments after he’d woken up too, until he remembered. That same curious emptiness had filled his chest again, tangled with embarrassment from last night. “I did enjoy sparring with you. You fight well, Tony, for someone who’s had no formal training.”

“I’ve picked things up here and there,” Tony laughed, shooting one of his patented Stark grins at Steve. He felt a thrill of satisfaction shoot through his chest when Steve looked away and cleared his throat. “So, since we’re both headed into S.H.I.E.L.D. this morning, want me to ride together? I’ve got a new Lamborghini I’ve been dying to take out on the street.”

“Sure,” Steve nodded quickly, hiding his sigh of relief by taking another bite of his cereal. He was half-afraid Tony was going to mention the end, how he’d run out when he’d realized how aroused Tony had gotten by their sparring. Yet it seemed the other man was as willing to let it go as he was. No surprise, really. It was just a reaction, nothing behind it at all. “What exactly is a Lamborghini?”

“You don’t know?” Tony asked, mouth dropping open in surprise. Then he remembered when Steve went into the ice and how much he’d missed. “Oh, that’s right. The company was formed in the 60’s. Well, are you in for a treat. A Lamborghini is an amazing sports car. The speed this thing can get to... phew.”

They spent the rest of breakfast talking about cars and motorcycles and other commonplace things. The awkward tension that had sprung up when they first saw each other faded and both could pretend that this was any other normal day. Though Tony couldn’t stop himself from brushing a shoulder against Steve’s as they walked out of the kitchen. Steve didn’t look back, merely apologized for bumping into him. Tony shook his head and led the way to the garage, pressing on his key fob to make the Lamborghini’s headlights turn on. Steve made appropriately awed noises about the car, walking around it and studying it closely. Tony beamed like a proud parent, thrilled that he was finally going to be able to drive the car. It was a deep red, almost the color of blood, and had cost a small fortune.

Finally sliding behind the wheel, Tony started up the engine with a throaty purr. Steve slipped into the passenger’s seat, nodding at the sound. Without another word, Tony whipped the car out of the garage and onto the street, barely missing clipping a parked van outside the Tower. It was likely filled with S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, there to monitor the superheroes they depended on. After all, none of them were really what you’d call mentally or emotionally stable. Casual discussion seemed to be the watchword for them as Steve commented on the changes to the city as they drove through. One building he remembered was still there and Steve twisted in his seat to look at the run-down facade. It had once housed a small diner, one he’d come to with Bucky a few times. The drive to S.H.I.E.L.D. finished uneventfully even though Steve had to suck in a few gasps at some near misses. Yet Tony handled his car expertly, slipping into spaces that didn’t seem to fit.

“Tony Stark and Captain Rogers?” a somewhat nerdy-looking agent asked with a Scottish accent.

“Yep, that’s me,” Tony replied, turning the Lamborghini off and stepping out gracefully. “And who would you be?”

“I’m Agent Fitz, I’ve been working on the prototype shield that Captain Rogers is here to test,” the agent replied, a starstruck look entering his eyes as he glanced at Steve. “If you would both follow me?”

Fitz started off without waiting and Tony just snorted. You could tell who the kid liked more. Well, worshipped might be a better word. Then again, Tony hadn’t met a man more worthy of that worship. There was something inherently _good_ about Steve. Steve followed quietly, an intense expression coming over his face. It was an expression Tony recognized from New York, the face of a man prepared to do a job no matter the cost. Abruptly, Tony wondered if that was the face Steve had worn on every mission he’d done back during the war.

“And here we are,” Fitz said, patting a metallic shield sitting on a cart lovingly. It had a silver sheen to it, though dark, almost like pewter. “It’s a bit heavy, most of the techs couldn’t lift it by themselves. See how it feels, Captain Rogers.”

Steve stepped forward and studied the shield, running his fingers over it. It was smoothly rounded, no strips like his current shield had. He picked it up easily, his strength not even making it an issue. Moving quickly, Steve tossed the shield up into the air, gauged its fall, then whipped his arm through the straps on the inner side. This was all done within seconds without Steve even moving his feet. He ran a finger over the edge, making sure it was smooth and even. It wouldn’t do to cut himself with his own shield. Everything seemed fine with it and it was only a little heavier than his current shield. While the extra weight would tire him eventually, Steve didn’t think it made all that much of a difference.

“What’s it made of?” Tony asked, studying the shield as closely as Steve did. He wanted to touch the metal, maybe take a small sample and figure out what it was. Yet he didn’t want to invade Steve’s space (again) or interrupt the soldier’s study of the thing. “I know his other shield is made of all the vibranium on Earth.”

“The material is still top secret,” Fitz replied uncomfortably, an annoyed twist to his lips. “I don’t even know what it is and I helped make the damn thing. But Director Fury has decided that only the highest echelons of S.H.I.E.L.D. can know what its made of. My bet is alien metal or some sort of alien technology. There was plenty left over after the Chitauri invasion.”

“Whatever its made of, as long as it does its job, I’m happy,” Steve said firmly, looking up and ending the discussion. “Where can I test it? I’m going to need several different kinds of guns and explosives.”

“Uh, this way,” Fitz said, gesturing to one of the techs in the room and whispering quickly. The tech gave him a look of fear mixed with confusion but Fitz just shrugged. The tech walked away quickly, shaking his head. Fitz led Tony and Steve to the firing range and around several displays of live ammunition. Tony studied each as they passed, committing things to memory. He could only hope to get to play with some of this stuff later on.

“Tony, you want to work the guns and the explosives while I deal with the shield?” Steve asked once they reached an unoccupied area.

“Why don’t we shoot at the shield first without you behind it?” Tony suggested dryly, grabbing the shield and pulling it off Steve’s arm. “We still aren’t sure it’ll hold up.”

“You have a point,” Steve nodded and looked over the selection of guns and explosives the tech brought back. Tony carried it to the other end of the space, setting the shield up so that it didn’t fall over. Luckily, there were plenty of mounts and things for different items here. Steve picked up a handgun, made sure it was loaded then shot at the shield as soon as Tony was out of the way. He smirked at Tony’s yelp and just shrugged when the other man stopped at his side. The shield held up against the handgun, not even leaving a mark in the dark silver metal. Steve nodded and Tony picked up a larger caliber handgun. He shot at the shield, three quick shots in succession. They traced a line along the outer rim of the shield, nowhere near where Steve had hit in the middle.

Steve waited until Tony had put the larger handgun down before picking up a rifle. It wasn’t often he came up against rifles but each gun had different bullets. The shield held up against the rifle, a slight smear the only evidence of the bullet’s impact. Tony and Steve alternated firing, slowly moving up to more and more powerful guns. It wasn’t until they’d both emptied an entire clip from different machine guns that Tony let out a satisfied grunt.

“Looks like it can stand up to guns by itself,” Tony said and Steve nodded. “Want to try it with you holding the shield? The heavier weight might make a difference in how it reacts when you’re holding it.”

Steve nodded and trotted down the length of the range. He pulled the shield out of the mount and settled it on his arm. It was a mark of his trust in Tony and Tony’s marksmanship that Steve merely set his feet and waited, his head and the bulk of his torso hidden behind the shield. Sharp cracks were his only warning a millisecond before force slammed into the shield. Steve grunted with the effort of not being driven back and then smiled. The bullet hadn’t made it through and the shield was still whole and sturdy. Looking up over the rim, Steve saw Tony putting down the largest gun and felt a thrill of fear run through him. He’d expected Tony to start with the smaller handguns and move up, like they’d done before.

“Looks good,” Tony called, voice steady. Steve could only nod as his mouth went dry. What if the shield hadn’t stood up this last time? But it had and the weight difference wasn’t all that big a deal. The real question would be when it came to throwing it around. For that, Steve would take it into one of the specially designed rooms Fury had had commissioned after realizing exactly how Steve fought with his shield. Setting the shield back on it’s mount, Steve jogged back up to Tony and Fitz, rubbing at his arm as he went. The straps had stung a little, were a touch too tight.

“I think we need to loosen the straps just an inch or two,” Steve told Fitz, repeating the words when the tech merely goggled at him for a moment. “But other than that, I think we’re ready for explosives.”

Tony grinned and rubbed his hands together, excited to get his hands on explosives. He cobbled together a few bombs quickly, again working from smallest bang up to biggest bang. He didn’t bother with the ingredients to make thermite. Thermite was dangerous even here and Tony doubted Steve would encounter a bad guy throwing thermite around. Fitz set up a blast shield while Tony set the first bomb. Handing the detonator to Steve, Tony plugged his ears and stared at the shield expectantly. The first bomb was surprisingly quiet, more flash than bang. When the smoke cleared, the shield was unharmed. They continued with the bombs, Tony and Steve falling into a comfortable rhythm. Steve could even forget what had happened the night before and what he wished would happen. Finally, the shield had stood up to the largest and most powerful bomb Tony could craft with the materials the tech had brought.

“So, what do you think?” Fitz asked as others came in to clear out the debris and blast shield. He looked nervous, washing his hands together as he eyed Steve. “Good enough for you to use?”

“I think so but I want to work with it some more before I actually take it into battle,” Steve said, looking at the shield again. It was mostly unmarred, just a few streaks and scratches from the ravages they’d put it through. “Can I take it with me?”

“I don’t think Director Fury would approve....,” Fitz started to say, trailing off when Steve jogged down the range and grabbed the shield. “Might not be a good idea.”

“Why don’t you let us worry about Fury?” Tony suggested, slinging an arm over Fitz’s shoulders and grinning. “If anyone asks, it’s not your fault, right? Just blame it on me. Fury’ll get it.”

Steve walked out of the range with Tony followed by a spluttering Fitz. They just grinned at each other and kept going, no matter how loud Fitz’s objections got. It wasn’t until they were in an elevator to head to one of the labs Tony had commandeered that Fitz had to stop. He didn’t quite have the clearance to go to that lab and Tony didn’t feel like taking him. Besides, he was allowed one guest and Steve was it. Tony doubted the guy was going to be separated from his shield right now anyways. And the quiet ride might be the perfect time to bring up what had happened, maybe see how Steve felt about it. Tony studied the guy surreptitiously, wondering how badly he’d freaked Steve out last night. They’d fallen into their regular friendship, though, down in the range. Maybe it hadn’t affected things too much.

“So about last night,” Tony started casually, making an elaborate display of studying the numbers ticking the floors while watching Steve. He noticed when Steve tensed, knuckles going white around the rim of the shield. “I just thought we should talk about it.”

“About what?” Steve asked, voice sternly controlled and not wavering in the slightest. He did _not_ want to hear any excuses or Tony making jokes.

“About what happened that last time you pinned me,” Tony said, forcing the words through a throat slowly closing with nervousness. Steve’s face was stone, his eyes staring at some point in the corner. “I just wanted to say...”

But what Tony was going to say was swallowed up by a loud, blaring klaxon and the elevator stopping abruptly. The lights flickered a few times before going out completely. Tony grabbed the railing as the elevator dropped a few feet before the emergency brakes kicked in. At about the same time, emergency lighting lit the elevator in a dim yellow glow. Steve was holding onto the railing on the other side, staring up at the ceiling of the elevator with fear in his eyes.

“What was that?” Steve asked quietly, turning his head to look at Tony. Tony just shrugged, worrying about the elevator dropping further. They’d gone up quite a few floors and a fall from here would probably kill him and Steve. Well, him definitely. Steve might survive. As Tony calculated weight and the stresses on the elevator’s brakes, the speaker crackled to life.

“We have taken over this building and hold it. Any who resist us will be shot. Those who join us will be welcome,” a cold, male voice said over the speaker. Tony barely registered Steve’s gasp, trying to figure out why the voice was somewhat familiar. But the next word out of Steve’s mouth had Tony remembering some footage from World War 2 he’d seen of Steve and the Howling Commandos. Suddenly, that voice made sense and absolutely none at all. Bucky Barnes had died during the war, right? “Hail Hydra.”


	4. Farewells

“Son of a bitch,” Tony muttered, running a hand through his hair nervously. Hydra, really? Hadn’t they been destroyed during World War 2, by the man standing next to him no less? Of course, Bucky was supposed to have died not long before Hydra was destroyed. Maybe there were other things that seemed to have died that survived. “Is this for real?”

“That’s Bucky’s voice,” Steve replied sharply, an old pain, confusion, and anger warring on his face. “But it’s so emotionless. Nothing like the Bucky I knew. I think we need to get out of here, Tony. If Hydra really is taking over, they won’t let us survive.”

“And there’s no way I’m joining them,” Tony replied dryly, shaking his head. An ominous creaking sound came from below them and the elevator dropped another couple inches. “What do you suggest, Capsicle? We’re kinda stuck.”

Steve didn’t answer at all. He merely looked at the ceiling, judging the little trapdoor that would let them out into the elevator shaft. After judging the strength of the door, Steve hurled his shield at it and caught the shield on its trip back down before it slammed into Tony’s head. The trapdoor banged open, hitting the top of the elevator with a metallic clang. Tony grinned and gestured for Steve to precede him. The soldier had a better chance of pulling Tony out than Tony did of pulling Steve out. Steve set the shield down carefully after making sure it was still unscathed. Taking a deep breath, Steve leaped upward and caught the edge of the opening. He hauled himself through and Tony handed the shield up to him. Tony quietly thanked the fact that the suit was so heavy; he doubted he would have been able to lift the shield without the muscles he’d gotten using the suit.

“Come on, Tony, we haven’t got all day,” Steve hissed down at Tony, looking up at a large explosion from above them. “If Hydra finds us, we’re as good as dead.”

Tony just scoffed sarcastically and shook his head. When Steve put his hand through the trapdoor, Tony jumped up as high as he could and grabbed Steve’s wrist. Steve hauled Tony up through the trapdoor quickly, Tony letting out a strangled yelp as his head almost cracked the edge. Steve just shrugged when Tony got to his feet and started looking for the door to the floor above them. The elevator had dropped far enough that the door was half covered by the elevator itself. Tony studied the elevator worriedly, wondering how much longer the emergency brakes were going to hold. He couldn’t see much; the elevator shaft was very dim even with emergency lighting. Setting his shield on the roof of the elevator, Steve worked at prying the doors open. He got them open enough to push his head through and stopped, tapping Tony’s shoulder to have him hold the doors. Wouldn’t do to get his head cut off before they could even escape.

A quick look both ways down the hall showed a conspicuously empty floor. It appeared all the fighting was on other floors and Steve breathed out a quiet sigh of relief. With Tony’s help, he shoved the doors the rest of the way open. Grabbing his shield, Steve heaved himself onto the floor and gave Tony a hand. And ignored the heat curling up from his palm and over his wrist. Letting go of Tony’s hand as quickly as he could, Steve started for the stairway. While it would put them in an enclosed space, they could make it to the exit before any Hydra agents found them. Hopefully. Steve worried at that the whole way, turning it over and over in his mind. How could any members of Hydra have survived? He’d studied history just after the war and Peggy and Howard, along with the rest of the Howling Commandos, had dismantled Hydra. _Someone_ had to have survived. Maybe a scientist or two, some officers. And Bucky. How _had_ he survived. Hearing that cold voice had been like hearing a piece of his past, however warped. Steve couldn’t remember ever hearing Bucky speaking in that cold a voice before the war. And during, there’d been weariness and resignation. But never cold indifference.

“Steve, what are you doing?” Tony asked suddenly, quiet voice loud in the silence of the floor. Steve jumped and looked around a little guiltily. While he’d been thinking of Bucky, he’d stopping and was standing in the middle of the hallway looking at the door to the stairwell. Tony was next to the door, one hand on the knob.

“Nothing,” Steve replied and Tony snorted. “Just thinking. If Bucky is here, shouldn’t we look for him? He says he’s working for Hydra but that’s not the man I knew.”

“I don’t think we have time to go looking for the ringleader. Even if he is your old friend,” Tony replied doubtfully, easing the door open and looking up and down the stairs. Still no one but the sounds of fighting were getting closer. There were tons of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents here. How was Hydra still fighting? How many were there. “We need to go. The Tower is probably the safest place right now.”

“Yeah,” Steve said quietly, a lost look coming over his face. With how much he’d lost, it would have been nice to see Bucky again. But there was a time and a place, hopefully, and right now, they needed to survive. He followed Tony as the other man walked gingerly down the stairs, his shoes making almost no sound. They’d gone three floors before the door to the next floor banged open and Agent Fitz barreled through it. His face was bloody, a cut above his left eye leaking lazily. His eyes widened when he saw Tony and Steve, hands coming up in fists.

“Are you with them?” Fitz asked sharply, glaring at Tony and Steve. “Are you Hydra?”

“What?” Steve asked, startled. “What are you talking about?”

“Hydra’s infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D.,” Fitz explained, still wary though he dropped his hands a bit. “About half the agents out there are fighting with the invaders. The building’s fallen, though the fighting’s not quite done yet. Are you Hydra?”

“No,” Tony said decisively, shaking his head. “The last I knew, Hydra had been destroyed. I’m not Hydra and there’s no way Steve is.”

Fitz relaxed then, sagging against the wall and wiping at the blood covering his face. He only succeeded in smearing it further, turning it into a frightening mask. Of course, with fear and worry on his face, he didn’t appear all that frightening. Steve felt for the guy, he really did, but they’d all been trained to handle disasters. While Hydra infiltrating S.H.I.E.L.D. was something no one had ever considered, they all knew what to do. Patting Fitz’s shoulder, Steve edged around the guy and peeked out into the hallway. There were a few bodies on the floor, too much blood around them for the people to be alive. There was absolute silence from the floor as well and Steve shook his head regretfully. Whoever they’d sided for, there was nothing he could do for them now.

“What do we do?” Fitz asked quietly, sounding lost. “Everyone I worked with is either dead, captured, or Hydra. What can we do?”

“What we do is we get out,” Steve replied, putting confidence and warmth into his words. It was difficult but he’d managed it before and no doubt would do again. While Tony and Fitz may not have started soldiers, they all were now. “We survive and we gather as many survivors as we can together. Then we fight.”

Fitz took a deep breath and nodded, standing up and squaring his shoulders. Tony just snorted quietly though had to admit, Steve’s words had gotten to him too. The man was an excellent leader. They headed down the stairs again, Steve first and Tony last. Tony had more experience fighting than Fitz did and could deal with anyone attacking them from behind for the few seconds it took Steve to wade into it. But they made it to the bottom floor without incident, something that was starting to make Steve edgy. If Hydra truly had control of the building like... Bucky had said, then they’d be patrolling, wouldn’t they? Was it possible that the announcement was propaganda of a sort, maybe to stop others from fighting? Or maybe it was a rallying cry for those members of S.H.I.E.L.D. who were Hydra themselves? On the bottom floor, Steve cracked the door slightly and looked out into the lobby of the building. There were S.H.I.E.L.D. agents everywhere, people Steve knew and liked. Some were holding guns and keeping guard over huddled people on the floor. Whoever they were to Steve before, the ones holding guns were enemies now.

“That’s not going to be easy to get through,” Tony whispered as he glanced around Steve’s shoulder. “Even for you, that’s gonna be tough.”

“I managed to grab a couple guns,” Fitz murmured from behind them, sitting on the stairs. He pulled two handguns from the small of his back and handed one to Tony. “From the experiment earlier. As soon as I heard the announcement, I grabbed them and ran.”

Quickly, Tony checked the gun and the magazine and saw that it was only half full. There wasn’t even a bullet in the chamber. It would have to do and he didn’t particularly want to kill anyone out there. Even if they appeared to be allied with Hydra. Fitz didn’t bother checking the gun he kept; he’d already done that. It’s magazine was only half full as well but it would have to be enough. Tony glanced at Steve, who looked troubled but nodded. Turning back to the crack in the door, Steve studied the positions of each person. He didn’t see Bucky but that made sense. If Bucky was the leader, as he appeared to be since he was the one making that announcement, Bucky would have gone for the leaders of S.H.I.E.L.D. And that meant the top floor.

“Okay, Tony, you and Fitz go left,” Steve said once he’d let the door slip closed again. “Take out the Hydra agents there. Shoot to kill. I doubt any of these people will be aiming for capture anymore. They are no longer your friends and colleagues. They are the enemy and they will see you as the enemy. I will head right and try to free the captives there. But captives are our secondary objective, much as we might want to free them. Our first is to survive and escape.”

“But we can’t just leave them,” Fitz argued, keeping his voice to a furious whisper. A light had appeared in his eyes and his face was determined underneath the blood. “ _They_ aren’t Hydra.”

“Fitz, we’re outmatched and outgunned,” Tony interrupted, holding up a hand and ticking off points. “They will be trying to kill us. We have to get out of there and warn everyone who’s still loyal. We can’t do that captured or dead. The people that were captured will just have to stay that way if we can’t free them without hurting ourselves.”

Fitz’s mouth worked angrily for a few moments as he tried to come up with an argument. Finally, his shoulders slumped and he nodded. It hurt, leaving his friends but they did have to survive. Who knew who was Hydra and still in hiding and who wasn’t? Or who was still alive. Steve waited until Tony and Fitz were ready then whipped the door open. He darted to the right, throwing his shield at the first Hydra agent and catching it as the agent hit the floor. Gunshots cracked across the lobby as the agents started firing. Steve caught the ones aimed at him on his shield or dodged while kicking at another Hydra agent. A sharp crack and agonized scream told Steve he’d broken the guy’s knee. Another kick to the head and the guy was out. That left three on his side. A quick glance, all he had time for really, showed two Hydra agents down and bleeding with Tony fighting another and Fitz taking cover behind a counter from a third.

“Quick, Stark and Rogers are top of the list,” one of the agents shouted, her black hair flying behind her as she ran at Steve. “Capture them, kill if necessary.”

Steve blocked her punches as well as he could, ignoring the flash of recognition. This was one of the agents Natasha was constantly trying to set him up with. Kerry, he thought her name was. Worked in acquisitions or human resources. A punch to her stomach had Kerry gasping and doubled-up while another to the back of her neck knocked her out. Even knowing they wanted to kill or capture him, Steve couldn’t bring himself to kill these people. The final two Hydra agents on his side rushed him at the same time, knocking him to the floor. The silver shield went skidding across the floor and it was all Steve could do to keep the two of them from pinning him to the floor. These two agents were strangers and Steve used every dirty trick he’d used on Tony the night before and more to try and gain the upper hand.

Suddenly, one of the men went limp and blood blossomed from a neat hole in his forehead. A trail of blood leaked down into his right eye and over his cheek, landing on Steve’s chest before the man slumped over to the side. The second froze for a moment, looking up like a deer startled by headlights before a second crack resounded around the lobby. A similar neat hole appeared in his neck and the man toppled, gasping. A few seconds later, he lay dead next to his companion. Steve looked up to see Tony lowering his gun, face curiously blank. But fear and anger danced in his eyes. Fitz was sitting on the counter, pressing a shaking hand to a wound in his upper arm. The agent that had been shooting at him was dead, three shots apparent in her chest. Fitz’s gun was on the floor, specks of blood on the silver barrel.

“Thank you, thank you,” one of the captives whispered, helping Steve to his feet and clinging to his hand. She was shorter than he was, with blond hair and brown eyes. “I thought they were going to kill us. I never thought... Hydra? In S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“It’s a brand new world,” Tony panted, still managing to sound sarcastic. He checked the clip in the gun again, empty, and tossed the gun on the ground. He didn’t have another clip and there was no point carrying around dead weight. For the first time, Tony realized he couldn’t call his suit because he hadn’t put on the bracelets he’d made when dressing this morning. He’d have to head back to the Tower for that. “Right now, I think it’s time for running. Before anyone decides to wonder what’s going on down here.”

Fitz staggered to the side of one of the captives, a young woman who gripped at the arm that Fitz didn’t put around her shoulders. Steve nodded and went to pick up his shield. It still showed no more wear than it had earlier. Handguns definitely didn’t dent the thing. He followed after Tony, heart heavy as he walked out the door. Silently, he looked up at the building. On the outside, it was unchanged. It was still a bastion of strength and order in the chaos the world had become. Inside, it was as rotten as the Hydra labs he’d raided during the war. Guilt clawed at his chest as Steve thought about the people still inside, people still loyal to what S.H.I.E.L.D. really stood for. He jumped at a hand on his shoulder, bringing his shield up.

“Hey, hey, Capsicle, breathe, it’s just me,” Tony said, gripping Steve’s shoulder a little tighter. “We need to keep moving. I don’t want to take my car because they’ve had time to put a tracker or a bomb or who-knows-what in it. Just bought the damn thing, too. You gonna be all right?”

“I will be,” Steve replied quietly, nodding. “I have to be. We all have to be to fight this war.”

“Yep,” Tony replied darkly, glaring up at the building. “Say your farewells to a comfortable life, Cap. Looks like we’re going to be wanted fugitives for a while.”

Steve nodded and turned away from the building. His shield was going to draw attention but most people knew Captain America by now. And he doubted anyone knew what was going on in S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. Hopefully they had time to get back to the Tower and find a safe place. He started jogging, holding the shield on his arm since there was nowhere else to put it. Tony followed, puffing only a little bit as he ran behind Steve. About four blocks away from the building, Tony pulled on Steve’s arm to get him to stop. Flagging down a taxi, Tony slid inside and gestured for Steve to do the same. It made sense, even if they were leaving a trail for Hydra to follow. Tony couldn’t very well run the miles back to the Tower and even Steve would take some time doing it. A car was faster. He slid in next to Tony, fidgeting with the straps on the shield as the car pulled into traffic. They still bit into his arm a little, leaving red marks where they’d been. Idly rubbing them, Steve considered what they were going to do next. Hopefully, the rest of the Avengers had stayed out of Hydra’s grasp. They were going to be needed in this war.


	5. Laugh

Both Steve and Tony were silent during the cab ride to the Tower. It was a combination of not knowing what to say and having too much to say all at once. Then, there was the cabbie to consider. While he probably wasn’t Hydra, neither man wanted to take that chance. Before today, both would have said Hydra was dead and could in no way infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D. Before today. When the cab stopped outside of the Tower, Tony dug out some cash and paid the cabbie. Better to use cash and leave no trail for Hydra to follow. As he followed Steve up to the doors, Tony noticed that the van that had been parked outside the Tower this morning was gone.

“JARVIS, lockdown,” Tony said as soon as he was through the door. “No one comes in and no one goes out. All calls get routed to voicemail.”

“Certainly sir,” JARVIS replied, confusion entering his voice. “May I ask why?”

“Because Hydra has taken over S.H.I.E.L.D.,” Steve answered grimly, still carrying his shield even in the relative safety of the Tower. “Who’s here JARVIS?”

“Thor and Doctor Foster are still in their room,” the AI answered after a moment. “Doctor Banner is in his lab and has been since this morning. Mr. Barton and Miss Romanoff returned about an hour ago.”

“At least we’re all here,” Tony said dryly shaking his head. “JARVIS can you have everyone meet Steve and me in the kitchen? And prepare the countermeasures against Natasha and Birdbrain that we talked about.”

Tony headed into the kitchen, stalking really. He was incredibly angry at what had happened, that his whole turned had been turned upside down yet again. Just this once, he’d been fighting with the good guys against the bad guys. It was so different than what his father and he had made their fortune doing. It hurt that everything he’d done for S.H.I.E.L.D. might have merely been to further Hydra’s aims. And who in the leadership positions was involved too? Could Fury be the ringleader behind it all? Was that why he’d pulled Tony back into the Avengers, into working for S.H.I.E.L.D.? What about Coulson? Before the guy had died in New York, Coulson had been one of Steve’s biggest fans. Could he be Hydra and still basically worship the guy who’d nearly lost his life fighting Hydra?

“Countermeasures?” Steve asked lightly, following Tony into the room and sitting at the table. He held the shield balanced on one knee, unwilling to give it up for the moment. Who knows when he might need it. “Why did you come up with countermeasures for Natasha and Clint and what kind of countermeasures?”

“They are spies and assassins,” Tony replied, shrugging. He made himself a cup of coffee and sat down across from Steve. “Nothing lethal just something that will knock them out. We might be thankful I did. They could be Hydra.”

A flash of fear ran through Steve as he considered that. Natasha was one of the most terrifying and efficient people he’d ever met. If she was Hydra... even Tony’s countermeasures might not be enough. Throw in Clint and none of them might ever leave the Tower alive. Shifting in his chair, Steve readied his shield to throw. Natasha would be his first target; she was the most dangerous. About the only person other than Tony he could trust not to be Hydra was Thor. The Asgardian hadn’t been here long enough for them to have gotten to him. Bruce was the first one to walk into the kitchen, a curious expression on his face as he scratched idly at the back of his head.

“Hey guys,” Bruce said quietly, perching on the edge of one of the empty chairs. He looked from Steve to Tony and back, plainly confused. “What’s going on? Why the big meet-up in the kitchen?”

“I want to wait until everyone gets here,” Tony replied smoothly, giving Bruce a reassuring grin. He hoped the grin hid the fear and anger jumping in his belly and that the hand wrapped around his coffee cup didn’t tremble visibly. “Then we’ll discuss what’s going on.”

Bruce just sighed and turned to Steve, making appreciating noises over the shield in his hands. They talked quietly while Tony sipped at his coffee. Snippets of their conversation snuck into Tony’s mind, derailing his thoughts for a moment. Things like straps and new metal and Chitauri, the last threatening to send him into another panic attack. That was the last thing they could afford right now. At least one good thing was coming from Hydra coming out into the open now; Tony had no time to think about New York or the portal he’d taken that nuke through. Thor and Jane walked into the kitchen next, Thor’s arm over Jane’s shoulders and hers around his waist. They were smiling and happy, though Jane’s smile slipped when she saw Tony.

“Come, sit, sit,” Tony said, forcing a smile back onto his face. There was no need to worry Jane and no need to warn her if she was Hydra. He didn’t know how far whatever message to the sleepers had gone. Before today, Tony would have adamantly denied Jane being Hydra. Before today. “We’re just waiting on Natasha and Clint.”

“I saw them upstairs,” Thor said in his booming voice. He laughed then, sitting on a chair and pulling Jane into his lap. He looked incongruous today in dark jeans and a black t-shirt. “Their mission went well.”

Thor and Jane complimented Steve on his new shield, joining Bruce in discussing it versus the old one. Tony kept his silence, idly turning his coffee cup on the table. There was no way he could drink anymore of it; his stomach was roiling and threatening to throw up the little he’d drunk of it so far. Suddenly realizing his hands were shaking a lot more, Tony clasped them together and set them on his thigh under the table. The adrenaline from escaping S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters was wearing off and fear was taking its place. Tony only hoped the trembling held off spreading to his entire body until he and Steve figured out who they could trust. He managed a small smile when Steve looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Neither of them could afford Tony breaking down.

A few minutes later, Natasha and Clint strolled in with Natasha fussing with her still-wet hair. Clint didn’t sit at the table, merely perched on one counter and studied each person. Natasha sat down next to Steve and rested her chin on one hand. She fought back a yawn before glaring at Tony. Clint let out a muffled laugh, knowing bad things tended to follow that glare.

“Why do you need us all down here, Tony?” Natasha demanded, yawning at the end of the sentence. “I’m falling asleep sitting here. Surely whatever it is could have waited until Clint and I got some downtime from our last mission.”

“Hydra has infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D.,” Steve said simply, taking the lead when Tony merely shrugged at another raised eyebrow. It was something he was used to and Steve had the most knowledge about Hydra. He watched Natasha and Clint closely, hoping they weren’t involved at all. Their recent mission could be well-timed for either side. “It appeared that half of the agents at headquarters were Hydra sleepers. They were activated today. And... the person spearheading the attack on headquarters was Bucky.”

“Wait, who’s Bucky?” Jane asked, confused.

“I thought he died years ago,” Natasha said at the same time, lifting her head to stare at Steve.

“Hydra? I thought they were all gone,” Clint cut in.

“Wait, wait, wait, one at a time,” Tony exclaimed, pitching his voice to be heard over all the others talking at once. He tensed as Natasha opened her mouth after a quick look at Clint. The countermeasures were all ready, the question was, could he get JARVIS to deploy them before Natasha or Clint did anything harmful?

“I thought your friend died,” Natasha repeated, narrowing her eyes as she thought. “His name is on the wall of agents who gave their lives. How could he possibly be alive and how do you know?”

“Bucky was the voice explaining that Hydra had taken over the building,” Steve said sadly, looking down at the table. “I don’t know how he survived. As for how I didn’t know, I thought he was dead. I mourned him. He fell off a cliff from a moving train. Bucky was my best friend. You think I wouldn’t have done anything to find him if I had the slightest idea he was alive?”

Natasha sat back in her chair, raising her hands as Steve’s voice rose until he was shouting the last few words. He was gripping the shield so tight his knuckles were completely white. Jane reached over and patted his shoulder, compassion writ across her face. There was complete silence in the room for a few moments and Tony relaxed a little bit. Surely if Natasha or Clint, or anyone else for that matter, was Hydra, they would have made a move by now? But S.H.I.E.L.D. agents had waited who knew how many years before revealing themselves. How long would the people around this table wait if they were Hydra?

“I suppose that answers my question,” Jane said after Steve had calmed himself with a few deep breaths. “But what is Hydra?”

“Hydra was a research and development group headed by Johann Schmidt during World War 2,” Clint explained, speaking before Steve had a chance to. “They had found the Tesseract that Loki was coming for. Schmidt had taken the same serum that Steve had and was turned into this super bad guy called the Red Skull. Schmidt had plans to take over the world and had the technology to back it up. Until Steve killed him and stopped all that. The rest of Hydra was wiped up just after the war. Or I thought they were.”

“So what do we do now?” Bruce asked quietly, tapping his fingers on the table. He’d taken to fidgeting in some way when he was upset. It helped keep him focused and the Hulk at bay. “If Hydra’s back and infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D. anyone could be Hydra. Any of us.”

“Well, neither Steve nor I are,” Tony said dryly, still watching Natasha and Clint from the corner of his eye. “Though they had orders to capture us, kill us if possible.”

“I’m not,” Jane said quickly while Thor nodded. “I wouldn’t have anything to do with Hydra.”

“There is nothing Hydra could offer me that would convince me to work with them,” Bruce said thoughtfully. “Though I am surprised no one approached me. I would imagine they’d want the other guy on their side.”

“Which leaves us,” Clint said, sitting up a little straighter though he didn’t stand up. “We work directly with S.H.I.E.L.D. and have for years. But I can tell you that I’m not Hydra. I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. to do some good not try and take over the world.”

Natasha sat silently while everyone’s eyes swung to her. She hadn’t missed the tenseness in Tony’s posture or the way Steve gripped his shield. Of course they’d suspect her and she didn’t blame any of them. Not after what she’d done in her past and what she did for S.H.I.E.L.D. now. She met Tony’s eyes and studied him. He just watched her in return, outwardly composed though she could see fear glittering in his eyes. Letting out a quiet sigh, Natasha crossed her arms over her chest.

“I’m not Hydra,” she finally said, looking from Tony to Steve. “I don’t know what I can say to convince you but I’m not. I also heard a rumor when I checked in after this last mission. I discounted it but, hearing about Hydra, it may be true. Fury’s dead.”

Silence filled the room again as shocked faces took in Natasha’s words. Bruce looked away from the table while Tony was surprised to see actual tears in Natasha’s eyes. Clint jumped down from the counter and put a hand on her shoulder. For the two of them, it may as well have been a hug with Natasha crying on Clint’s shoulder. Jane merely looked sad while Thor raised a fist and pressed it over his heart. Jane had never met Fury but Thor had and had liked the man. Tony stared down into his coffee cup, more anger and sadness flashing through him. He had liked Fury, much as the man might annoy him on occasion. And Fury was one of the few that Tony thought would be against Hydra. A glance at Steve showed the same emotions Tony was feeling on the soldier’s face. 

“I suppose the only people we can truly trust then are the people in this room,” Steve said, breaking the silence.

“That’s a frightening thought,” Jane commented, one hand rubbing up and down her forearm nervously. “What do we do now?”

“The only thing we can do,” Steve replied after looking at Tony, waiting for the nod that seemed to give him strength and determination. And Tony would just have to ignore the pride and satisfaction that gave him. “We fight.”


	6. Whisper

Several hours later, after a discussion that had turned into an argument more times than Tony could keep track of, they’d all decided to call it a night. Dusk had fallen, the lights in the kitchen automatically turned on by JARVIS. After the first few moments after Natasha had told them of Fury’s death, Clint had pulled a chair up next to her and sat with one hand on her wrist. She seemed to take strength from that simple contact, surprising to Tony as he’d never seen Natasha anything short of complete control over herself.

Each person, other than Jane, had ideas of when and how they should fight back. Jane merely listened, nodding when she agreed and adding concise thoughts where she could. Bruce counseled waiting, which didn’t surprise Tony at all. Bruce tended to sit back and wait since it was so easy for the other guy to come out when he was angry. And that was something Bruce didn’t enjoy. Thor was for the opposite, a direct attack on Hydra’s front door. Tony disagreed with that one at the same time Steve did, flashing a grin at the soldier for a moment. While it may be heroic to attack head on as soon as possible, it was also a suicide mission. There were way too many variables they didn’t know to make that at all tenable. Natasha advocated coming at Hydra from behind, somehow, with Clint nodding along with her words.

By the time they were all frustrated and tired of each other, nothing had really been decided other than that they needed more information. And that necessitated waiting. Tony didn’t have much to add to what Natasha had said nor did Steve. To be honest, the soldier had been fairly quiet. He’d let the conversation flow around him, a faraway look in his eyes. Tony knew he was thinking about Bucky, about the friend he’d thought he’d lost so many years ago. Of course, it didn’t feel all that long to Steve. It still probably hurt. And Tony tried to ignore the momentary flash of jealousy when he wondered exactly how good of friends Steve had been with Bucky. That wasn’t any of his business nor was it likely to be. Besides, this was Steve, the star-spangled American hero. Tony was willing to bet that Bucky had just been a close friend.

“JARVIS, lights out,” Tony said as he got into bed and pulled the covers up to his shoulders. He looked over at the empty part of the bed, mind flickering between filling it with Pepper and Steve. The lights went off as Steve took Pepper’s place again and Tony had to laugh at that. Both were out of reach though he could pretend there was a chance Steve might fill that empty space. Still chuckling dryly, Tony settled down and closed his eyes. And promptly saw a star-filled velvet blackness, endless and suffocating. Breathing deeply, Tony wrenched his mind to other thoughts. He was far too tired to have another panic attack. 

Thoughts of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra took the place of that blackness. Tony relaxed slightly and sighed. There was so much work to be done, not least of which was making sure the Tower was as safe as possible. Everyone knew he lived here, that the Avengers made this Tower their home whenever they were in New York. For Steve, that was most of the time, once he’d been convinced to give up his apartment. Tony had had to convince him it was safer here, a better tactical decision to have them all under one roof whenever they were in New York. Finally, Steve had agreed and Tony had congratulated himself on getting the other man closer. Whatever he’d convinced Steve of, Tony knew at least part of the reason he wanted Steve here was to have him close.

As he mused on Steve and the times they’d had here in the Tower, quite often just the two of them or with Bruce added, Tony drifted off to sleep. For once, he didn’t dream of the portal into space, of aliens and monsters attacking while they tried to stop a mad god. This time, Tony slid into a warm and comforting dream. The room he found himself in wasn’t so different from his own bedroom but it was washed in a creamy gold light. It was as if the whole room was lit by a fireplace though one wasn’t in evidence. Soft music was playing from somewhere, something instrumental and full of emotion. Tony didn’t look too closely for where the music was coming from; it didn’t matter all that much right now.

What mattered was the heat emanating from the body next to him. What mattered was the slide of skin and the slip of sheets, both equally soft and alluring. What mattered was the whisper in his ear in Steve’s voice, telling him so many delicious things. While they words were blunt and to the point, Tony shivered at the meaning behind them. There was something addicting in having the honorable and upstanding soldier whispering such filthy things to him. Tony moaned quietly at Steve’s hand skimmed up his side.

“Steve,” Tony murmured, leaning forward to press a kiss to Steve’s lips. They felt real, warm and with just the right amount of pressure. While a part of Tony knew this couldn’t be real, the rest of him was determined to enjoy every bit of this. Steve didn’t reply to his name, just smiled into the kiss and ran his hand down Tony’s side to his hip. There was no rush now, much as both of them were naked underneath the sheet. “Shouldn’t we be worrying about Hydra or something?”

“Not at all, not right now,” Steve finally replied. “We’ve got some time, Tony. Let’s enjoy it while we can.”

Tony nodded and ducked his head to nuzzle into Steve’s neck. There were slight red marks in the skin, as if this was something Tony had done before. He licked up the side of Steve’s neck before sucking on the skin just underneath his jaw. A groan rumbled in Steve’s throat, vibrating into Tony’s lips. The hand on Tony’s hip gripped hard, fingers digging into the skin. Edging closer, which was a feat in itself considering how close they were already, Tony kissed his way down Steve’s neck until he was at the junction of neck and shoulder. Then, Tony bit, hard enough to leave a mark but not enough to break the skin. When Steve gasped, Tony laved his tongue over the bite.

Suddenly, in the way of dreams where movement happened without conscious thought, Tony was resting on his stomach with Steve next to him. A hand stroked over his back lazily, nails tracing lines every once in a while. The urgency from the last few moments was gone and drowsy contentment replaced it. Tony hummed to himself quietly as Steve pressed kisses to his shoulders. Then Steve’s hand slid down, gliding over the small of Tony’s back with a press of nails. He stopped at the cleft of Tony’s ass, fingers teasing over the skin. A murmured plea escaped Tony’s lips, a smile tugging at the corners. He rolled slightly, enough to glare at Steve with no real heat. Steve just laughed and moved his hand further, skipping over Tony’s cheek and tickling at the back of his thigh. Squirming, Tony laughed and reached out to pinch lightly at the skin just above Steve’s hip. He had his ticklish zones while Steve had his. By this time, they’d learned where each was. And the places that brought moans, as Tony skimmed his fingertips down over the bone and to the junction of hip and thigh.

“Not playing fair,” Steve murmured, nibbling at the shell of Tony’s ear.

“All’s fair in love and war,” Tony replied, sliding his hand in between Steve’s legs and resting on the inside of his thigh. “Surely you heard that before?”

Steve chuckled and slid his hand down to the back of Tony’s knee, putting just enough pressure into his fingertips that he could feel Tony’s skin. No more but no more was required as Tony writhed on the bed, twisting his leg away from Steve’s fingers. With a playful growl, Tony leaned up and pushed Steve back onto the bed, ranging his body over his. Threading his fingers into Steve’s hair, Tony tilted Steve’s head back until his throat was exposed. Then, Tony placed featherlight kisses under Steve’s chin and down the front of his throat, stopping to suck a red mark onto the top of his collarbone.

And the dream shifted again, this time with Steve sitting on the ground with his back to Tony. His skin glistened in the light as Tony ran hands wet with massage oil over his back. They’d been at this for about an hour now, Tony completely absorbed in the feel of muscle and bone underneath his fingers. Steve was almost boneless now, sitting slumped forward slightly. It was quiet and relaxing in their room, a few moments stolen from their hectic lives to just enjoy each other. Tony leaned forward and kissed the back of Steve’s neck, resting his lips there as he breathed in the scent of massage oil and Steve’s skin.

“Your turn, Tony,” Steve said drowsily, reaching back and pulling Tony’s arms around his waist. He held them gently, thumbs rubbing over the knuckles.

“Not just yet,” Tony argued, turning his hands in Steve’s grip to rub over his stomach. “There’s a few places I have yet to massage.”

“If you keep going, you’re going to put me to sleep,” Steve laughed quietly, rubbing his hands up Tony’s forearms. Unwrapping Tony’s arms from around his waist, Steve got up, ignoring Tony’s arguments to the contrary. Picking up the bottle of massage oil, Steve squeezed a generous portion onto his hands then walked around behind Tony and settled back onto the floor. The massage oil warmed quickly to his body heat and Steve rested his hands on Tony’s shoulders. “Stop arguing Tony.”

While strong fingers kneaded at his shoulders, Tony stopped arguing and closed his eyes. Steve’s touch always felt like home and there was only so much arguing Tony could do against it. He let out an appreciative sound as Steve worked at a knot just under the back of his skull. Working in a lab for long hours put all sorts of knots in Tony’s back. Yet, working in his lab was one of his favorite things to do. And it got Steve to give him a massage. It was a win/win in Tony’s opinion. Slowly, Steve worked out the tension in Tony’s shoulders, thumbs pressing in after the lighter sweep of fingers. Tony shifted uncomfortably a few times as Steve worked at a particularly painful knot but a kiss over the spot after the ache was soothed was pleasant.

“You need to stop working so hard,” Steve murmured as he rubbed down Tony’s spine. His thumbs pressed at the vertebrae, sweeping in to the center from about an inch away on either side. He could feel Tony relaxing underneath his hands and couldn’t stop a fond smile. “Your back wouldn’t hurt so much if you actually took care of yourself a bit.”

“Why should I worry about it when I’ve got you to do this?” Tony asked, glancing slyly over his shoulder at Steve. He let out a gasp when Steve pressed his knuckles into another knot in the small of his back. “I like you having your hands all over me.”

It wasn’t too much longer before the dream shifted again. Tony, the Tony who knew it was all a dream, felt a sense of loss. He’d enjoyed that one the most so far. There was something... intimate about it that was hard to let go. But then his attention was completely caught by the groan from underneath him. This time, Tony found himself ranged over Steve’s body. Steve was bucking back into Tony’s hips, pleas and gasps for more falling from his lips. For a moment, Tony was surprised and frozen. This was completely different from just a few seconds ago. This was quick and rough and desperate. This was Steve grabbing at the wrist Tony had planted in the bed to hold himself up and squeezing so hard that Tony could hear his bones creak. This was Tony finally moving, snapping his hips forward hard enough that the headboard slammed into the wall. This was Steve almost purring his approval and pushing back just as hard. Tony was breathless and almost out of his mind with the pleasure. Searing heat crashed over him as his skin tingled. As he drove both of them closer to the edge, Steve’s name whispered from between his lips. There was no room for anything else, just Steve, underneath him, around him, inside him. Suddenly, Tony felt Steve tense up underneath him, felt his muscles contract and squeeze around him. That was almost too much and Tony let himself go, let himself enjoy the feeling.

“Tony, Tony! Hey, Tony, wake up!” Steve’s voice said suddenly, jarring and completely incongruous. The image before him slipped away, replaced by a darkness so complete that Tony whipped his eyes open, afraid he’d gone blind. “You were calling my name.”

Dim light bathed Steve’s face, brighter on the white t-shirt the other man was wearing. There was concern and worry on his face and exhaustion in his eyes. The man looked like he hadn’t slept at all. Memories of the dream he’d had flashed through Tony’s mind, waking a need he hadn’t even been aware was sleeping. Without stopping to think about it, Tony reached up and snagged the back of Steve’s head. It took surprisingly little pressure and Tony pulled Steve down until they were just barely apart, breath feathering over each other’s lips. Then Tony closed the space between them and kissed Steve desperately.


	7. Hope

Tony was kissing him. _Tony_ was kissing him and Steve couldn’t believe it. It was better than what he’d imagined and a fragile hope fluttered in his chest. Before he was aware of moving, Steve kneeled on the edge of the bed and wrapped one arm around Tony’s waist. The other cradled the back of Tony’s head, holding him gently but firmly in place. He kissed back just as desperately, licking at the seam of Tony’s lips until they opened. Suppressing a groan, Steve licked his way into Tony’s mouth. At some point, Steve’s eyes had closed and he just let himself feel. This might be all he would get from Tony, much as Tony seemed interested now, and Steve was going to commit each moment, every sensation to memory.

“Steve, I’m sorry,” Tony murmured when they broke their kiss to breathe. He licked at lips red and slightly swollen, as if pulling the taste of Steve’s lips off them. “I probably shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”

Steve sat back slowly at the words, feeling abashed. He pulled both hands back, clasping his hands tightly in his lap. Of course he should have expected this. He’d just woken Tony up, possibly from a nightmare to go by the way he’d been whimpering his name. Though, Tony hadn’t sounded scared at all when Steve had come in. Quite the opposite in fact. But whatever Tony was dreaming, this was reality and Steve probably shouldn’t have kissed back. That didn’t stop him from imitating Tony, licking his lips and holding back another groan at the taste of Tony on them.

“It’s all right,” Steve replied finally, once he was sure his voice was even and steady. He was proud that he even sounded a bit disinterested, as if nothing had happened. “You sounded like you were having some sort of nightmare and JARVIS called me when he couldn’t wake you up.”

“It wasn’t a nightmare,” Tony said thoughtfully, studying Steve out of the corner of his eye. The other man _had_ kissed him back, had seemed to enjoy it just as much as Tony had. Maybe Tony had him wrong? “But thanks for waking me up. Usually JARVIS can manage it on his own. But, since we’re both here and not being chased by Hydra, I really think we need to talk.”

Tony waited for Steve to say something, expecting a denial or an “about what?” or anything but what he actually did. Steve squared his shoulders and took a deep breath, face becoming blank. To Tony, it almost looked like Steve expected to meet a firing squad of some sort. Several words turned over and over in Tony’s mind, sentences suggested and then discarded after looking at Steve’s face again. The silence stretched between them, a fragile thread that could shatter like broken glass at one wrong word. Their friendship was definitely something Tony didn’t want to lose. He’d come to treasure it over the past several months. But how to say what he wanted to say without causing Steve to run again?

“You know I consider you a close friend,” Tony finally began, wincing at the wording. Of course his brain would pick the sentence that sounded like a goodbye to begin with. “Ah, what I’m saying is, you’re my friend Steve. I like that you’re my friend and that you can stand toe to toe with me when I start acting like an arrogant jerk. Which, let’s be honest, happens a lot, right?”

“Less lately,” Steve admitted, laughing quietly. His hands relaxed fractionally, the knuckles no longer white from where he was clasping them together. Yet the rest of him stayed tense and expectant. “Where are you going with this, Tony?”

“Well, you ran out before I could explain when we were sparring,” Tony said, running a hand through his hair. It had never been this hard to tell someone he was interested in them. Usually a sly glance and a smile were enough. Though, he’d at least had a _hint_ that they were interested back. Steve was giving away nothing. “You seemed kind of freaked out by my um, arousal and it just happened.”

“You don’t need to explain,” Steve cut in. He shook his head when Tony opened his mouth to continue. “I understand, really. Fighting is very physical, lots of adrenaline. It happens. I’ve seen guys who never managed to get through a fight without it happening. I was just... surprised that’s all.”

“Surprised enough to bolt like a startled deer,” Tony said dryly, rolling his eyes. A flash of his dream ran through his mind, the sight of Steve sitting on the floor in front of him with his skin shining in the dim light. The intimacy of that moment, the craving for it, gave Tony the courage to go on. “I suppose that was the start of it but the dream I was having was about you. If we’re being all honest and stuff here. Different snapshot like things of our life together. Things I’d... like to happen. While I may have kissed you without thinking about it, I’d really like to do it again. Maybe more than kissing, too, if you’re up for it. I mean, you’re straight so if you just want to forget all of it, that’s fine too. I think we should be friends still so we can totally just forget it all.”

Tony trailed off slowly, realizing his words had become more frantic and babbled as he continued without any input from Steve. It was strange, feeling this fluttering of nerves in his belly and the clenching of his throat. The last time Tony’d felt like this, he was fifteen and asking a girl to a dance. This was very much like then. This _mattered_ while most of his hook-ups since he was fifteen hadn’t. And Tony tried very, very hard not to remember that the girl had laughed at him and said no. Of course, he’d graduated not long after he’d asked her so Tony had never seen her again. He had no idea if they would have continued to be on friendly terms after that. Finally crossing his arms over his chest, Tony just stared at Steve and waited as patiently as he could. He’d told him everything and it was all up to Steve now.

“Ah, Tony, I ran because I didn’t know what to say,” Steve shrugged, looking abashed. But that look passed quickly, replaced by a slow-dawning smile as his shoulders finally relaxed and Steve took the first deep breath he’d taken since Tony had started talking. Finally, he knew where Tony stood on all of this, knew that while all of Tony’s stories were about women, that wasn’t all he was interested in. “But you do have one thing wrong, in that rambling speech you just gave. I’m not actually straight. And I would definitely be interested in kissing you again. Along with the more, definitely.”

Tony’s mouth gaped open, shock and surprise rendering him speechless for once. Steve just laughed at the expression on Tony’s face. It all seemed so silly now, the running and worrying. When all it took was an honest conversation between them. Feeling confident again, knowing he wouldn’t be making one of the biggest mistakes of his life doing it, Steve leaned towards Tony and pressed his lips gently to Tony’s. That brought the other man back to himself and he kissed back eagerly but less desperately than before. There was time now, time to learn and enjoy. They didn’t have to fit what would feel like a lifetime of kisses into one desperate kiss that would have to last for a lifetime. And, for once, Tony was glad that he’d sat down to talk things out rather than avoid them or crack a snappy one-liner.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Tony and Steve were the first ones down in the kitchen, both yawning sleepily. They’d spent the night kissing and talking, both agreeing that a few hours before dawn was definitely not enough time for what they wanted to do. They sat next to each other at the table, shoulders almost touching as they ate their cereal. Natasha was the next one to come down for breakfast, her hair pulled back into a ponytail and wearing a black tank top and black pajama pants. She took one look at the pair of them and snorted as she sat down with her muffin.

“What?” Tony asked curiously.

“I won the bet I had with Clint,” Natasha replied, a note of satisfaction in her voice as a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “He thought it would take you guys another four months before you got together. I told him that you weren’t all that much of an idiot, Tony, and that you weren’t all that old of a fossil, Steve.”

Tony just laughed and went back to his cereal while Steve grinned at Natasha. They are in a companionable silence, mutually agreeing that breakfast came before any difficult discussions. Clint came down not too much later, took one look at Steve and Tony and grimaced. Natasha tossed him a triumphant smile and made room next to her for Clint to sit down. They shared the muffin she had and Clint passed over half of the english muffin he’d made. Thor and Jane came down at the same time, arms wrapped around each other again. They didn’t notice anything different between Tony and Steve though Tony didn’t think either would have an issue with it. Bruce was the last one to wander in the kitchen, hiding a yawn behind his hand as he made a pot of coffee. Bruce was rarely sociable at all before his first cup in the morning. Cereal followed the coffee while Jane raided the cabinets for poptarts. They were some of Thor’s favorite foods and Tony kept a good supply on hand in the Tower at all times.

“So, we can’t avoid it all day,” Natasha said when they had all finished eating. Bruce just shook his head and sighed while the others looked somber. “We have to figure out what we’re going to do.”

“We should probably try to gather in all the loyal S.H.I.E.L.D. agents,” Bruce pointed out, tapping the table at each word. There was a strain around his eyes as though he was struggling to keep from exploding. “Though it’s going to be hard to tell the loyal ones from those who aren’t. Especially those trying to infiltrate the Tower and capture or kill us.”

“We also need to secure some S.H.I.E.L.D. installations,” Clint added, glancing at Natasha with a worried look on his face. “If Hydra gets their hands on some of those places... what’s inside could give them the entire world. Or at least cause a very bad day for a whole lot of people.”

“So we put each agent through a lie detector test,” Tony said, sitting back in his chair and tucking his hands behind his head. And if his elbow coincidentally brushed Steve’s shoulder, hey it could be a mistake. “I’m sure I can whip something up with JARVIS. If anyone comes in here that works for Hydra, we’ll have someone to interrogate.”

“There’s a base, very secret and very remote,” Natasha broke in quietly, her voice almost a whisper. She still seemed to be taking Fury’s death hard as tears glimmered in her eyes with her next words. “Fury set it up about six months ago. Only three people knew about it, me, Fury, and the agent he stationed there. He had a... a chair designed that was the ultimate lie detector. I was his guinea pig and even I couldn’t beat it. Maybe we can head up there, take shelter if the Tower is compromised. No offense to your tech skills, Tony, but this place isn’t exactly impregnable.”

“Why don’t we consider that a last resort,” Steve suggested, putting a hand on Tony’s shoulder when the other man dropped his hands and leaned forward, ready to argue with Natasha. “For now, I’m sure among all of us we can figure out who’s loyal and who’s not. If Fury’s dead, Maria Hill would be the next logical person to try and find. We didn’t see her at headquarters. Natasha, do you or Clint know where she is?”

“Sir, there is someone at the door requesting entry,” JARVIS’s voice broke into their conversation as Natasha and Clint both shook their heads. To be honest, they hadn’t seen Maria in a couple months and that wasn’t like the woman. She was usually in the thick of things, overseeing what Fury personally couldn’t. “They tried to employ a S.H.I.E.L.D. override but I’ve blocked it. What would you like me to do?”

“Show me who’s here,” Tony said lightly, though his body went tense. If Hydra was already here looking for them, they might have to evacuate to that base Natasha had mentioned far quicker than any of them thought. Quickly, a screen on the one blank wall in the kitchen lit up, the image a little grainy for being projected onto the wall. Maria Hill stood there, shifting from foot to foot impatiently as she glared at the door. But the man standing next to her caused Tony to stammer out nonsense syllables as he tried to make sense of what he saw. Seriously, how many people were going to come back from the dead?

“JARVIS, let them in,” Steve finally said when no one else spoke. “I think we have a few questions for Agent Hill and Agent Coulson.”


	8. Young

Silence reigned in the kitchen as the image disappeared from the wall. Tony got up, hand brushing Steve’s back as he walked behind him, heading out to the front door. It might be better for him to meet Coulson and Maria Hill there rather than them trying to find the Avengers. The Tower was huge. Natasha’s expression was carefully blank though there was a tightness to her eyes that betrayed her agitation. Clint merely seemed relaxed, looking up at the doorway every few seconds while he ate. Maybe not so relaxed after all. Bruce, Thor, and Jane wore identical expressions of confusion while Steve merely waited. While it was a pleasant surprise to see that Agent Coulson had somehow survived, Steve was incredibly curious as to how. He’d seen the body, or what he thought was Coulson’s body, after they’d dealt with the aliens. Surely he’d been dead?

“Thank you for letting us in,” Maria’s voice preceded her, Coulson, and Tony into the kitchen. She looked tired, dark circles under her eyes and her hair pulled back into a simple ponytail much like Natasha’s. Her clothes were clean but rumpled, as if she’d been wearing them for a while. Coulson looked just as tired though his clothes were immaculate, just like every other time any of the Avengers had seen him. “I assume you know about Hydra since your AI wouldn’t let us in.”

“Tony and I were at headquarters when Hydra attacked,” Steve explained, gesturing for both agents to sit at the table. Maria sat near Thor, grabbing some poptarts out of the box sitting in front of the Asgardian. Coulson sat next to her, eyeing the poptart box for a moment before deciding he wasn’t actually hungry. He rubbed a hand over his face, hiding a yawn in the movement. He’d argued with Maria for quite some time about coming here. He’d believed it was the only safe place for them here in New York. Maria hadn’t wanted to risk it. But hunger and a need for allies had eventually convinced her.

“Hydra has infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D. from the lowest ranks to the highest echelons,” Maria said dully, mechanically eating her poptart. She finished the first one before looking up, anger in her eyes. “I was with Alexander Pierce when it started. He’s Hydra and he was the second in command of S.H.I.E.L.D. I can only imagine Hydra has been hiding for years, slowly creeping in and taking over. There are agents I would have trusted with my life trying to kill me yesterday.”

“Tony and I dealt with the same thing,” Steve said, a sympathetic look crossing his face. “I’m sure you heard the announcement. That was my old friend Bucky. I’ve known him since we were both young and I would have said the sun was green before saying he was Hydra. He helped me fight Hydra during the war. He was even killed by them. Or so I thought.”

“I saw him, whoever he was,” Maria said, narrowing her eyes as she remembered. “He was wearing a black uniform and a black mask over the lower half of his face. At least until he talked. And he had a metal arm. It was extremely powerful and looked just as advanced as your suits, Tony. I didn’t know he was your friend, Steve. Honestly, he didn’t talk much. That announcement was pretty much everything. And he heeled Alexander Pierce like a faithful hound.”

Steve looked stricken, turning his face away and grinding his teeth. Tony stopped behind him heading back to his own seat, putting both hands on Steve’s shoulders. It didn’t matter if anyone saw, not now. It wasn’t important though Tony did arch one eyebrow at Maria when she gave him an odd look. He stood there for a few seconds while Steve got control of himself again, a deep breath and a pat on Tony’s hand letting him know the gesture was appreciated. Tony sat down and nudged Steve’s shoulder, returning the tremulous smile Steve gave him.

“So what do we do now?” Bruce asked, repeating the question they’d all been asking since their world had tumbled down. “I mean, we know you both but considering what’s happened, how do we know you both aren’t Hydra? How are you still alive, Agent Coulson? We were told you had died.”

“I almost died,” Coulson said, a curiously blank look in his eyes. “Lots of surgery and then Fury sent me off to Tahiti to recuperate. It’s a magical place. You might want to consider taking a vacation there sometime. As to how you can be convinced we’re not Hydra, I don’t know. I doubt you’d be willing to take my word?”

“We did for each other,” Clint pointed out, glancing at Natasha before meeting everyone’s eyes around the table. “Nat told us there’s somewhere we can go, somewhere we can be sure that we’re all speaking the truth. I think our first order of business might be to go there. Then we can start dealing with other S.H.I.E.L.D bases. The Fridge should be first on that list.”

“The Fridge has fallen,” Coulson replied quietly. There was a simmering anger in his voice as well as something sharp, cutting. “While you all thought I was dead, I was running a team of my own. We were infiltrated too. The man I thought I could trust turned out to be Hydra along with an old friend. They took out the Fridge, released all the prisoners, and took all the technology there. I think running to a more secure place might be our only option right now. No offense to your security, Tony.”

“None taken,” Tony replied, wondering what might have been secreted in this Fridge. He had a shivery feeling that some of it would turn his security into melted sludge right before blasting the door in. “Natasha, do you know where this secret base is?”

“Not exactly,” Natasha replied at the same time Coulson held up his badge. There were orange numbers glowing on the bottom of the shield, six numbers that Tony could tell were latitude and longitude.

“Great, so we have a plan. I’d suggest everyone pack light,” Steve said briskly, standing up with a determined look on his face. “Tony has a plane at the airport not too far from here. It’ll be a risk but I think we can all make it there. Especially if we don’t use marked vehicles. Tony, can we impinge on your collection? It’s the best way, I think.”

“My cars?” Tony asked, grimacing. He was still upset at the Lamborghini he’d had to leave behind. But still, he had plenty of money to buy more cars and surviving was much more important. “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine. But try not to scratch them up. Some of them are worth more than the average yearly salary.”

Jane chuckled at that, though a bit dryly. Some of Tony’s cars were worth more than what she made in three years, much less a year. After a sigh, Maria nodded and stood up. She’d been hoping to rest at least for a few hours. But there was too much to do. Pulling Tony aside, she got directions down to the garage and headed down there with Coulson. Neither had anything to pack. Clint and Natasha hurried to the room they shared, not speaking only trading significant glances once in a while. There were whole conversations in those glances and the familiarity between them had grown over their years of working together. Bruce ambled away, ticking off things on his fingers as he mumbled to himself. Thor and Jane went the other direction, Jane listing things to do before they could leave. Which left Steve and Tony alone in the kitchen together.

“You know, we have great timing,” Tony commented sarcastically, watching as everyone left. “Then again, I almost never do things the easy way anymore. Of course we’d get together when the world imploded.”

“At least we have a plan,” Steve replied, resting a hand on Tony’s shoulder in turn. With an impish smile, he leaned down and pressed three light kisses to Tony’s lips. “Since we’re flying, why don’t you tell me about the Mile High Club?”

“That I can do, Capsicle,” Tony laughed, grabbing Steve’s arm and pulling him towards the elevator. “And I can do you one better. I can _show_ you.”


	9. Learn

Things had finally quieted down as the sun dropped below the horizon. S.H.I.E.L.D. still stood but, to everyone inside, it was a twisted ruin. Their convictions and their beliefs burned as other agents they’d thought loyal, thought friends, walked around under the banner of Hydra. Those still alive wore shell-shocked expressions, eyes wide and still unbelieving. Those who had joined Hydra wore big, relieved smiles, finally out of the shadows and taking what they felt was their rightful place.

Alexander Pierce wandered idly through his office, wearing the same satisfied smile everyone else was. Now he _owned_ the space, finally claimed it as his own under Hydra. He hadn’t taken part in the fighting, had secreted himself up here in his office with his faithful hound. Turning towards the windows, Pierce studied the man standing silently staring out over the city. This was the first time he’d been back since his supposed death all those years ago yet no trace of recognition glimmered in his eyes or appeared in his stance. The city could be on the moon for all the care the man took of it. Which was exactly as it should be.

“You have done an excellent job,” Pierce said, sauntering up to stand next to the man created to be the opposite of Captain America. Created to be the Winter Soldier. “We have the building and are mopping up the last few areas of resistance. They will learn Hydra can’t be stopped. Cut off one head, two more take its place.”

“Hail Hydra,” the man replied mechanically. That was all he said, the first words he had spoken since giving the announcement Pierce had ordered him to. There was no sense of self in him, no accomplishment or pride or freedom. The man was a weapon, knew he was a weapon and that was that. He turned from the window, long dark hair swinging as he glanced sharply around the room before looking at Pierce. His mask was tucked into a pocket, folding into a surprisingly compact bundle. His outfit was black leather with steel fittings. Simple, utilitarian, efficient. Nothing to mark him as anything other than a tool, a weapon. Even the makeup around his eyes was to help reduce glare and to help him blend into the shadows. A gun was velcro-d to his back within easy reach of his right arm. His other arm glimmered silver, a red star on the shoulder the only drop of color the man sported. Pierce often amused himself that that star stood for all the blood spilled by the Winter Soldier’s hands.

“Sir, we’re having a small problem,” a voice cut through the silence in Pierce’s office. It sounded frantic, worried, while accompanied with yelling and the sharp crack of gunshots. “A clutch of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents has taken one of the labs down on the lower levels. They managed to barricade the entrance and are guarding it with the weaponry inside. Looks like something Stark would have thought up. None of our people can get through.”

“Not to worry,” Pierce replied smoothly, keeping his voice even in an effort to calm down the panicky agent. “I’ll send back up and you won’t have to worry at all.”

“Thank you, sir,” the voice on the other end said, relief clear in the sigh at the end of the sentence. Pierce turned to his weapon and smiled, knowing nothing could stand against the soldier he’d created.

“It’s time for you to change the course of history yet again,” Pierce told the soldier quietly. It had the ring of rehearsed words, something repeated so often that the syllables making up the sentence became meaningless. The Winter Soldier didn’t need reassurances, claims to glory and change. He merely needed orders and waited silently, patiently, for them. “Deal with the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents in the lab. Then check in with the commanders of each cell and make sure there are no other problems. We need to hold this building securely.”

Nodding, the Winter Soldier stalked out of the room. No expression crossed his face, no excitement or anticipation. He’d been conditioned long ago not to feel any of that. Weapons didn’t feel. He waited patiently on the elevator ride down, methodically checking his weapons and flexing his metal hand. Buried deep down inside him, so deeply that even he didn’t know it was there, a quiet voice contemplated that arm. That voice felt disgust and terror along with a resounding lack of hope. It had been buried for far too long to have any sort of strength left. Or any belief that things might change.

“Ah good, you’re here,” the voice said, belonging to a shorter, stocky Hydra agent. His brown hair was mussed up, as if he’d run fingers through it agitatedly. His brown eyes jumped around the corridor as if expecting an ambush at any moment. The agent pointed towards a door labelled L1. “They’re in there. Go get them. Survivors are not required.”

Nodding again, the Winter Soldier studied the door for a moment. It was strong but every door had a weak spot. And no door he’d come across yet could stand up to the strength in his metal arm. The other Hydra agents scrambled out of the way as that metal arm whipped back and forward, punching through the metal of the door. Then, the Winter Soldier pushed forward, tearing the door off its frame and letting it clatter to the floor. Bullets flew at him as loyal S.H.I.E.L.D agents fired, screams accompanying the sharp cracks. He threw himself into a roll, dodging to the left and taking cover behind one of the counters. Myriad metal parts covered the counter, none recognizably familiar. Taking a moment to catch his breath, he counted the distinctive screams then peeked over the edge of the counter. There were eight agents in here, eight people fighting against something that was all but inevitable. It wouldn’t change what was destined but it would change their fates.

During a lull in the shots, the Soldier grabbed the gun off his back and shot to his feet. He fired quickly, taking one agent in the chest and another in the head. He counted them off easily, concentrating on the six remaining ones. Every gun swung towards him but he jumped over the counter and raced away from the shots. Coming up to the side of one agent, he snapped out with the metal arm and crushed that agent’s windpipe. She dropped, choking with hands scrabbling at her throat. Kicking the gun away was second nature even if she wouldn’t be needing it in a few seconds. Another agent screamed and rushed him. Emotions, getting in the way. Perhaps they had been together but it didn’t matter. Not to a weapon. The fourth agent went down as the Winter Soldier shot him, breath gurgling from the bullet holes in his lungs.

“Fall back!” a woman’s voice screamed and the three remaining agents retreated through a small door in the back of the lab. There was another lab back there, one with a window that it would be possible to escape through.

The Winter Soldier followed, sauntering forward as he chambered another round in his gun. A quick check showed his knife snug in its sheathe. He wouldn’t use that unless he had no other weapons. Always start with the most efficient and move down from there. Even if he lost the knife, hand to hand combat would take care of anything. More gunshots sprayed the area around him as he walked through the doorway but this time he didn’t dodge. The agents were panicking now, rats backed into a corner and their aim was suffering from it. They knew he was walking death, their death, but they couldn’t change it. The woman who screamed was the first to die in this room, three neat bulletholes in her throat. She wouldn’t be screaming again. The final two agents exchanged glances, full of despair and terror, before lying down their weapons. 

“We surrender,” the blond man said, raising his hands above his head as he dropped to his knees. The woman nodded with the words, her red hair swinging. Abruptly, the Winter Soldier froze. Red hair... there was something about red hair, some memory of laughter and shared privation that sparked in his mind. The woman froze too as she got a good look at his face, confusion and recognition flashing across it.

“Wait, aren’t you...?” the woman stammered, mouth working as she tried to speak several times and failed. “I know you. You’re Bucky, Captain America’s friend. You’re supposed to be dead.”

“I don’t know any Bucky,” the Winter Soldier replied though a thread of doubt entered his voice. There was even more to that than there was to the red hair. A cascade of memories, warmth and laughter and companionship, a friendship that had turned to family. The image of a skinny blond man with a cocky grin accompanied those feelings and the quiet voice clamored to be heard. Clamored of freedom and joy and love. But training and conditioning won out, the Winter Soldier quashing every memory methodically and coldly. A weapon didn’t have family, couldn’t love. “You are willing to surrender and stop fighting?”

“Yes, we are,” the man replied, though there was a thread of defiance in his eyes. Defiance and challenge that the Winter Soldier recognized. He’d dealt with enough people to know when they would never stop fighting, no matter what lies might fall from their lips. He raised his gun and shot the man twice in the chest. The woman followed as she scrambled to her feet, not nearly as cleanly but just as effective. He left their bodies where they fell, blood pooling around them as they cooled in death. No longer a threat and therefore no longer important.

“Job’s done,” the Winter Soldier announced coldly when he walked back out of the labs. The other Hydra agents let out a small cheer, talking excitedly that the building was finally theirs. This had been one of the last pockets of resistance. S.H.I.E.L.D had fallen far easier than anyone had believed. Then again, no one really knew how many Hydra agents were secreted inside until they’d all risen today. He walked away, back to the elevator to go to Pierce’s office. For the first time, he had questions. Maybe Pierce would even answer them. The image of a blond man wouldn’t go away and the Winter Soldier needed to know who he was. Needed to learn why he knew him.


	10. Picture

“Well, we make a pretty sad picture, don’t we?” Natasha asked wryly from the back seat of Tony’s car about twenty minutes later. She had a duffel bag on the seat next to her, one that bulged in odd places. Tony opened his mouth to ask her what was in it on seeing it but Natasha’s glare had him snapping his mouth closed again as she slid into the car. Steve was in the front seat next to Tony and he looked over his shoulder at Natasha.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked curiously. Tony nodded along with Steve’s question, confused. He thought they’d done fairly well, kept fairly organized on the way out to the airport. They were all together, Maria, Coulson, and Bruce in one car with Thor, Jane, and Clint in the third. Hydra hadn’t come after them, not yet.

“Look at us,” Natasha replied, shaking her head and waving a hand to indicate the other two cars. “The nine of us against, what? Nearly the entirety of what once was S.H.I.E.L.D? And who knows how many more Hydra agents? I’m not saying quit but it looks like we might be on the losing side of this one.”

“We’ve fought against overwhelming odds before and won,” Steve said gently, twisting in his seat to meet Natasha’s eyes. “Remember the Chitauri? How many had invaded and how many more were waiting? Those Leviathan things? We beat them and we can beat Hydra. The organization is powerful with a lot of tricks up its sleeve, but I fought Hydra before and nearly always won. We can do this, Natasha. Don’t lose your confidence.”

Tony grinned widely at Steve’s speech, glancing at him with approval. Steve grinned back though a faint blush tinged his cheeks. He tried not to do that very often as the rest of the Avengers tended to know what was needed and when. Though, in the time since they’d all moved into the Tower, Steve had spoken to each of them to keep their spirits up, Bruce most of all. Up ahead, Maria took an exit off the highway and turned towards the airport. Tony followed with Jane bringing up the rear. Now, Tony had JARVIS call the airport and ready his plane. Too early and Hydra might have caught them. Leave it too long and Hydra might catch them waiting for the plane to be readied. About ten minutes later, they pulled directly on the tarmac off to the side of the main thoroughfare in the airport. Being rich definitely had its perks. They parked the cars near the hangar and everyone got out, shouldering duffels that bulged with whatever they thought necessary. Maria and Coulson, of course, had nothing with them and waited with visible impatience for the others.

“Welcome Mr. Stark,” the pilot said as Tony walked up to the plane idling at the ready outside the hangar. “If you and your party would follow me?”

Tony studied the pilot suspiciously for a moment, eyes narrowed before nodding and following him up the ramp. This particular pilot had been in Tony’s employ for years and had never shown any sort of interest in Tony’s work with S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers or politics and world issues in general. Honestly, the man only really seemed interested in flying and the rare stamps he liked to collect. A few of the more expensive ones had found their way into the man’s collection through Tony’s Christmas bonuses and the like.

“Wait, how do we know we can trust your crew, Stark?” Maria asked, a thread of weariness in her voice. She hadn’t slept in almost two days and it was catching up to her. “What’s to say they aren’t Hydra?”

“We can’t, not for sure,” Tony shrugged, pausing on the ramp and looking back over his shoulder. “But I know each of these people and Pepper hired them. I trust Pepper more than just about anyone else right now.”

Maria shook her head irritably, twitching her shoulders. She slanted a glance at Coulson, who merely shrugged and followed Tony up the ramp. Sighing, Maria eased her gun in the holster under her jacket and followed. It was secure but would slide out easily if and when she reached for it. That was the best she could do for now, though Maria was quite ready to kill anyone who got in their way. If it was needed. The others headed up the ramp, Bruce studying the plane uneasily before squaring his shoulders and ducking his head walking through the entrance. He’d gotten better at controlling the Hulk but still didn’t enjoy spending time in small spaces.

Tony pulled Coulson into the pilot’s cabin with him as the other man stepped inside the plane, ordering the pilots to fly wherever Coulson directed. The two men nodded and listened attentively, not even flicking an eyelid when Coulson could only give them latitude and longitude coordinates. The younger pilot, still with a touch of gray in his hair and younger only by comparison to the other pilot, plotted the coordinates on a map and then shooed Tony and Coulson from the cabin. A quiet conversation flowed out until the door was closed, the lock catching with a sharp _snick_.

“I suppose that’ll have to do for now,” Tony said, running a hand through his hair as he stared at the locked door. “Come on, Coulson, let’s go get comfortable. I fitted out this jet myself so there’s plenty of rooms to choose from. Even got food stocked in the kitchen if you and Maria are hungry.”

“Food would be good,” Coulson said, a small smile tugging at his lips. He headed further into the plane, scooping up Maria and finding the kitchen tucked at the back. The others were settling into rooms or on the couches on the plane. Nearly everyone had been here before and knew where everything was. Thor and Jane had already disappeared into one of the rooms, Thor shutting the door firmly behind him. But not before Tony caught the terror and tears on Jane’s face. Tony hoped Thor was able to calm her down. Hydra was something none of them, other than Steve, had ever dealt with before. Even Tony wasn’t sure they’d be able to win. Yet, he knew they’d go down swinging. None of them would make any other choice.

Tony stumbled into one of the couches as the plane started to taxi away from the hanger and resituated himself with a self-deprecating smile. It didn’t take long for the plane to get clearance nor to find the runway. A few moments’ later, the engines were revving and the plane moving faster down the runway. The pilots knew what they were doing and the plane lifted effortlessly into the air well before the end of the runway. It climbed until they hit about 30,000 feet then levelled off. Sunlight shone in through the windows and fleecy white clouds drifted past. It was a beautiful day, even when shadowed by the knowledge they had. Tony stared out the window, lost for a moment in blue and white, until Steve tapped him on the shoulder.

“I think you were going to show me something?” Steve asked, a smirk making him look mischievous. Tony nodded and heaved himself up from the couch. He grabbed Steve’s arm and led him towards one of the bigger rooms, the room he’d claimed for himself the first time the Avengers had flown in the plane. Silently thanking the foresight that had sound-proofing put into every room, Tony closed the door behind them. As he turned, Steve grabbed onto his shoulders and backed him up until Tony’s back hit the wall. His surprised grunt was swallowed by Steve as he surged forward and kissed him. There was nothing gentle about it this time, all heat and fire and desperation. Tony kissed back hard, curling one hand around the back of Steve’s neck and wrapping his other arm around Steve’s waist to pull him closer. A spate of turbulence rocked them against each other, Steve almost falling backwards as he lost his balance. That broke their kiss, both men laughing as they caught their breath.

“How about we move to the bed?” Tony suggested, glancing over Steve’s shoulder at the double bed across from the door. “Might be a bit more comfortable.”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Steve replied, pulling Tony to the bed. He sat down and pulled Tony down next to him, pushing on his shoulders until Tony was flat on the bed. Steve ranged himself over Tony, brushing their hips together teasingly as he sucked at the side of Tony’s neck.

“Have any ideas for what you want to try?” Tony asked breathlessly, tangling his fingers in Steve’s hair and using the grip to tilt Steve’s head up. “There’s so many possible options.”

“I do, yes,” Steve replied, a grin tugging at his lips. “Something I’ve been wanting to try for a while. But we’re both wearing far too many clothes.”

Tony laughed at that and pulled his shirt over his head when Steve sat back to do the same. They both shimmied out of their pants, Tony letting out a moan when their hips brushed together again. When they were both naked, Tony pulled Steve down into a kiss again and slotted their hips together. Pumping his hips up against Steve’s, Tony licked his way into Steve’s mouth. One hand roamed over Steve’s back, drawing moans and mumbled words that Tony drank in eagerly. Steve’s hands were fisted in the blanket they hadn’t bothered to pull down, hips grinding down against Tony’s. Desire flashed deep in his belly and Steve pulled back from the kiss before he couldn’t think anymore.

“So, what was your idea?” Tony asked as he trailed fingers down Steve’s arm. His lips were reddened and swollen, tongue darting out to lick at his bottom lip. Steve’s eyes followed the gesture and he bit at his bottom lip to keep himself from leaning down and licking Tony’s lips himself.

“I believe, in current terms, it’s called a sixty-nine,” Steve said doubtfully, eyes wrinkling as he thought about it. “I don’t know if there was a name for it in my time. But I want to try that.”

“Sounds good to me, Capsicle,” Tony chuckled, leering up at Steve lasciviously. He flipped their positions, straddling Steve’s thighs as he ran a hand down the man’s chest. Tony continued down, pressing harder with his nails over Steve’s stomach, sliding down until he could see Steve’s erection clearly. Pre-come beaded at the tip already and Tony leaned down to gently swipe it with his tongue. Steve groaned, hips bucking up slightly and Tony opened his lips further to take the head into his mouth. Sucking gently, Tony swirled his tongue around the head and swallowing more pre-come. Steve tangled his fingers in Tony’s hair, pushing with enough pressure to tell Tony what he wanted.

Humming deep in his throat, Tony obliged. He sank down slowly, licking at the underside of the shaft. Every once in a while, he swallowed hard, increasing the pressure around Steve’s erection. His own was throbbing now, reminding Tony that it was sadly neglected. Once he’d taken as much of Steve’s erection into his mouth as he could, Tony slid back up and sucked at the head again. A growl from Steve warned him that he might have pushed too far, which was a little surprising and Tony had to wonder how long it had been for the guy, and he released Steve’s erection after a final lick at the head. 

Tony eased off Steve’s legs and lay down on his side, pulling at Steve’s hip until the other man was doing the same. Tony moaned as Steve’s breath feathered over his erection suddenly as a hand came to rest on his hip. Meeting Steve’s eyes, Tony saw the same excitement and desire fluttering in his belly and he couldn’t help but smile again. Steve smiled back and lowered his head to lick down Tony’s erection. The sight was mesmerizing and Tony just watched as Steve nuzzled into his thigh and sucked his balls into his mouth one at a time. As Steve licked his way back up, Tony let out a noise he would vehemently deny was a whimper. Steve chuckled and met his eyes, raising one eyebrow questioningly.

“Isn’t this a participation sport?” Steve joked. “Don’t just sit there staring at me.”

“But you look so hot like that,” Tony grumbled back though he smiled again to take any sting out of the words. Steve waited until Tony dipped his head again then opened his mouth to suck at the head of Tony’s erection. Tony mimicked him and Steve had to stifle the groan that rumbled in his throat. It was rather intimate, having the same thing happening to him as he was doing to the other man. Taking a firmer grip on Tony’s hip, Steve sank down around Tony’s erection until he was nosing at Tony’s balls again. Tony made a noise of surprise as he swirled his tongue around Steve’s head, again licking up pre-come.

Steve settled his other arm more comfortably beneath him, hoping it didn’t go completely asleep. Then, slowly and torturously, he bobbed up and down on Tony’s erection. Every time he reached the head, he swallowed hard like Tony had done earlier. Pre-come leaked from it and Steve savored the salty flavor. Tony was licking up and down the underside of Steve’s shaft, taking as much as he could into his mouth and pumping the rest with his hand. They settled into a quick rhythm, hips pumping in time as groans rumbled in their throats. Wanting more, Steve moved his hand down Tony’s ass, teasing at the top of the cleft. An approving noise from Tony had Steve slipping his fingers in between his cheeks to feather over his entrance. This time, Tony didn’t mimic Steve. Instead, he rolled Steve’s balls between the fingers of his free hand, squeezing in opposite time to the stroking of his hand.

Before long, Steve felt heat coiling in his belly and his hips started stuttering in their pace. Tony was tensing beneath him, breath heaving from his nose in gasping pants. Steve was the first to orgasm, the hand still buried between Tony’s cheeks clenching hard at the flesh. He screamed around Tony’s erection as Tony pulled him even closer. Steve glanced down his body, watching Tony swallow every drop. The other man’s eyes were closed, a supremely pleased expression on his face. As he rode out his orgasm, Steve nudged his finger into Tony’s entrance, breaching him with just the tip. Tony groaned deep in his chest, his head falling back as Steve’s softening erection fell from his mouth. Wanting to taste everything Tony had to offer, Steve slid back up to the head of his erection, dipping his tongue into the slit that was leaking even more pre-come now.

“Oh god, Steve,” Tony whimpered before he was coming, body shaking with the force of it. Steve edged his finger in and out of Tony’s entrance slowly, sucking hard at the head of Tony’s erection. He swallowed the salty fluid down, each swallow pulling more and more into his mouth. Wordless moans tumbled from Tony’s mouth mixed with pleas for more and Steve’s name. Finally, panting hard and body limp, Tony pulled his hips back and let himself fall from Steve’s mouth. After catching his breath, Tony turned around and kissed Steve, tasting himself in Steve’s mouth. Steve kissed back eagerly, licking his way around Tony’s mouth as if chasing every lingering flavor of himself. That was almost enough to convince Tony’s body to go another round but not quite. He contented himself with running his hands over Steve’s sides, up his thighs and teasing around the edges of his groin.

“I think I liked that,” Steve said, breaking their kiss and laving his tongue over his bottom lip. “We should definitely do it again.”

“I totally agree with you, Cap,” Tony chuckled. “But I don’t think we’re going to have time on this flight.”

“Next time we get a free moment,” Steve whispered, leaning in close to Tony’s ear and nibbling at the shell. “Next time, I want to be inside you. This was only the first thing on the list of things I want to try.”

“That so?” Tony purred back, turning his head and sucking at Steve’s pulse point until he raised a red bruise. “I think I’ll enjoy having you inside me. Course, after that, I want to fuck you.”

Before Steve could reply, other than a deep groan, someone knocked on the door. Whoever it was had to be banging pretty hard on it for any sound to make it through. Tony grimaced and ran a hand through his hair. If whoever was that came in, they’d definitely get an eyeful and there was no way to hide what they had been doing. Steve just chuckled, pulling Tony in for another deep kiss. It ended quickly, though Tony didn’t want it to. It was nice to forget the war that was waiting for them and to have Steve to himself after fantasizing for so long.

“JARVIS, who’s at the door?” Tony asked his AI with a long-suffering tone.

“It is Agent Hill,” JARVIS replied smoothly. “We are almost at the coordinates provided by Agent Coulson. Shall I tell Agent Hill you and Steve are both aware of this?”

“Yes, thank you,” Tony said, slanting an amused look at Steve. The knocking stopped and Tony assumed JARVIS was carrying out his instructions. After giving Steve a quick peck on the lips, Tony got up out of the bed and started hunting for his clothes. Steve reclined back on the bed, one hand hooked behind his head as he watched Tony. A small smile tugged at his lips as his eyes swept over every inch of Tony’s skin he could see. Only when Tony was dressed did Steve get up, fully aware of the other man’s eyes on him. Gathering his clothes was easy and Steve put them on slowly, eyeing Tony after each garment was in place. The other man was swallowing convulsively, desire flashing in his eyes again. But there was no more time as the plane banked and started descending.

“Soon,” Tony told Steve as he pulled him into a hug and kissed the side of his neck.

“Soon,” Steve agreed letting his hands stroke over Tony’s hips and ass. They broke apart as the plane landed and Tony straightened the blanket on the bed before opening the door and heading out into the main cabin. Everyone was gathered there, Jane looking much calmer if not happier. Clint was smirking at both of them and Natasha passed him a twenty dollar bill. Tony wondered what the exact terms of their new bet was.

“Sir, if you’ll come this way,” the younger pilot said, walking out of the pilot’s cabin and opening the exterior door once the plane had come to a stop. Tony was the first one out with Steve on his heels. The others followed until they were standing in a large clearing with a runway carved out of the forest. A small hiking path meandered out of the clearing and Tony set off towards it after giving instructions to the pilots to stay until he called. The trip through the forest didn’t take long and they arrived at a pair of metal doors. The S.H.I.E.L.D. logo was painted in black on the doors, which opened as soon as Tony approached them.

“Welcome, Agents Hill and Coulson and to the Avengers,” a man’s cheerful voice met them. He was short and stocky and wore an excited expression. “My name is Adam and I’m the resident agent here. I assume you’re all here to fight Hydra. Please, follow me. After you go through a screening process to make sure you aren’t Hydra, you’ll receive a lanyard like the one I’m wearing. It will allow you to go anywhere in the base. I’ve got reports and maps and things of all S.H.I.E.L.D. bases and buildings. Once we’re done, you’ll be able to work out a plan to deal with Hydra.”


	11. Fortune

The group followed Adam into the base, the metal doors shutting behind them with a dull clang. Natasha eyed them as quick snicks told her locks were engaging in the doors. It would be difficult to get out of here if someone didn’t want them to leave. Shrugging off her paranoia, they had to trust _somebody_ , Natasha followed after the group, shrugging her bag up higher on her shoulder. Adam led them to a large room set up with a television, couches, viewscreens that held outdoor scenes, and a computer humming away busily on a desk.

“If you would all just give me a few moments, I’ll give you a map to the facility and you can find rooms,” Adam said, bustling over to the desk and flipping through some papers. He tsked to himself as he pulled out three and held them out with an apologetic smile. “Looks like I only have three maps. But, the bedrooms are all down the same hallway, so I’m sure you all can find them. Once you’ve settled in, we’ll start the process of verifying who you are and getting the lanyards.”

Tony, Jane, and Maria each took a map and led the others through the halls to the bedrooms. Steve followed Tony into the bedroom the other man had chosen while Thor picked one at random with Jane stepping in after him. Natasha chose a bedroom at the end of the hallway, close to a series of connecting corridors. Clint chose the bedroom across from hers, one that had a large vent into the air ducts. They both were far too used to having to run and hide or find the best place to attack from to change their habits now. Maria and Coulson chose bedrooms at the other end of the hallway while Bruce just walked into an empty one.

“This is going to be strange,” Steve murmured as he dropped his duffel bag on the bed and sat down next to it. He scrubbed a hand over his face, staring down at the floor when he was done. “I thought S.H.I.E.L.D. was the best place for me, after I woke up. Now to find that its been infiltrated by Hydra and Bucky is alive? I don’t even know where to start.”

“To steal quote that I don’t remember where it’s from, we begin at the beginning and go on to the end,” Tony replied, sitting down next to Steve and draping an arm over his shoulders. He grinned his patented Stark grin, relieved when Steve managed to smile back. “Besides, we’ve dealt with our people being on the other side before. Remember Loki controlling Birdbrain and Doctor Selvig? We’ll figure it out. From what I’ve learned about Bucky Barnes, he’s not one to fight for the other side willingly.”

“I hope you’re right,” Steve muttered, shaking his head. It still hurt, losing Bucky the way he had. He’d been his best friend, his only friend really, and Bucky had pulled him out of more scrapes than Steve could count. Had saved his life more than once. While it hurt to know he’d died right in front of him, Steve could handle that hurt. There was something... clean about it. This, knowing Bucky had turned, or been turned, was like having his heart ripped out. There was nothing clean about this and the thought made Steve sick to his stomach. They sat there in silence for a time, letting the others go through whatever Adam had planned. Steve didn’t think he could move just yet and Tony was willing to give him all the time, and comfort, he needed.

\-------------------------------------------------

“What is your name?” Adam asked, staring down intently at a computer screen set into the desk.

“Clint Barton,” Clint replied calmly, eyes focused straight ahead and not on the strange chair he was strapped into. 

“You are stranded on a deserted island. There is a box in front of you. What’s inside it?” Adam continued, glancing up once from the screen to study Clint.

“What kind of question is that?” Clint asked, confusion and anger tinging his voice. “I’ve been through lie detector tests before. Do you even know what you’re doing?”

“As I’ve explained to you, this is a unique test,” Adam replied, weary patience in his voice. He’d gone over this twice already, once with Bruce and the other with Jane. Both had passed with flying colors and he’d given them their lanyards to wear whenever they were inside the base. “Just answer the question, first thing that comes to mind.”

“A bow,” Clint replied, scowling. A thread of unease wormed through his gut as Adam just continued to stare at the screen. What if he had given the wrong answer? _Was_ there a wrong answer? What happened if he failed this test?

“What’s the difference between an egg and a rock?” Adam said, voice calm as he saw the slight spike in Clint’s blood pressure. “And, please, remain calm. This is just a series of questions, nothing too difficult.”

“You can eat an egg,” Clint replied, taking a deep breath and trying to squash the worry inside him. When Adam nodded, Clint let out a relieved sigh. At least there really was no wrong answer to that one.

“Why are you here?” Adam asked next, looking up to meet Clint’s. There was something hawk-like in his gaze now, though it was difficult to read in his amiable face. And now they’d finally gotten to the crux of the questions, the ones that would probably best determine whether Clint was a threat. Well, he could deal with that.

“Because S.H.I.E.L.D.’s become my home,” Clint replied honestly. “The people there are important to me and I feel like I’m finally doing some good in the world and using my skills to their fullest.”

“Thank you Agent Barton,” Adam said with a smile after studying the screen for a few moments. He walked out from behind the desk and started unstrapping Clint from the chair. “Let’s get you your lanyard. Then would you send Agent Romanoff in?”

Clint nodded, rubbing at his wrists for a few seconds as Adam bustled around the desk again and pulled out a lanyard with an ID card. The straps hadn’t hurt but Clint didn’t particularly like being tied up. After accepting the lanyard, he pulled it over his head and settled the card down on his chest. It hung about halfway down his sternum and had the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo on one side. While Adam reset the chair and the testing parameters, Clint headed out the door and nodded to Natasha, waiting on the other side with the others.

“Your turn Nat,” Clint said, giving her a grin. He held up his lanyard and wasn’t surprised to see the others sigh in relief. Of course there was no way to be completely sure if someone _said_ they weren’t Hydra, much as they might trust each other. Natasha merely looked confident, her beliefs confirmed and Clint patted her shoulder in thanks. That was the most they’d do with others around, wanting to keep their relationship professional. Their personal life was their business and no one else’s.

“Here we go again,” Natasha muttered to herself as she walked inside and closed the door behind her. A quiet babble of questions was cut off as she did so, the other Avengers peppering Clint with questions about the chair. Natasha braced herself as she settled into the chair, keeping a calm and pleasant face while Adam secured the straps and feeds.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again, Agent Romanoff,” Adam said while he worked. “Just like before, this won’t take too long. Just a few questions and then we can get you your lanyard.”

Natasha nodded and sighed, pulling at the straps around her wrists automatically before turning her attention to Adam. He had settled behind the desk again, tapping at a few things on the touch screen. Once he was sure that everything was reset and running properly, he turned the sheet of questions back to the first page and took a deep breath. Natasha let her mind wander as she had the first time, for once not wanting to have the temptation of lying.

“What is your name?” Adam asked, calm voice breaking the silence easily.

“Natasha Romanoff,” Natasha replied distantly. Her eyes were focused on the wall just to Adam’s left. This name had been hers for so long that it would register as true. It was true, really, perhaps moreso than her birth name. Natasha Romanoff was who she had made herself into and who she wanted to be.

“You are stranded on a deserted island. There is a box in front of you. What’s inside it?” Adam continued.

“A satellite phone so I can get off the island,” Natasha replied immediately.

“Very good,” Adam nodded, flipping the page to go on to more questions. “What’s the difference between an egg and a rock?”

“An egg is laid by a chicken and a rock is not,” Natasha replied, rolling her eyes at the question. That was one she hadn’t had before.

“Why are you here?” Adam finished, looking up from his screen to study Natasha.

“Because I have no where else to go,” Natasha replied simply, meeting Adam’s eyes calmly. Adam smiled widely and picked up another lanyard from the drawer. He walked around the desk to start unstrapping her from the chair.

“It’s nice to see you pass again, Agent Romanoff,” Adam said as he finished and shook her hand. “Here is your lanyard. Please send in Agent Hill next.”

“It’s nice to pass again,” Natasha replied, a genuine smile crossing her face. She liked Adam, liked that he was genuine and bubbly and a generally happy person. She didn’t meet many of those in her profession and even less that she actually liked. After putting the lanyard on, she walked outside and gestured for Maria to head on inside.

The process last almost half a day, each person giving their own answers to the questions and passing the test. Adam was relieved after each person passed, thankful that no Hydra agents had managed to infiltrate this secret base. Fury had had it commissioned not that long ago and Adam had been here on his own since then. It was good that it was still safe. Everyone met in the large central room again, Tony walking in last with Adam and still adjusting his lanyard. It felt strange for the genius to have anything around his neck; he usually avoided things like that. Even the ties he wore only stayed proper for a short time before Tony ended up loosening them.

“Good, we’re all clean,” Coulson said, nodding in satisfaction from the desk he was standing at, studying a map of S.H.I.E.L.D. bases. Maria was next to him, writing down notes in a notebook as they discussed possible strategies. “The first thing I think we need to do is take back headquarters. If we can get Pierce and his hound...”

“His name is Bucky,” Steve cut in hotly, glaring at Coulson. “Not hound or Hydra or assassin. His name is Bucky and he’s my friend.”

“We can’t consider him a friend right now, I’m sorry,” Coulson replied apologetically, shaking his head. “From Maria’s description of him, I think he’s the assassin they call the Winter Soldier. Natasha and Clint know who I’m talking about. If this is the same man, thinking of him as a friend is liable to get all of us killed.”

“The Winter Soldier doesn’t exist,” Clint scoffed, laughing. “He’s just a fairy tale. Something they tell newbie spies and assassins like ghost stories around a campfire.”

“The Winter Soldier is a ghost,” Natasha agreed, though she looked uncomfortable. “But he is very much real. He’s the best and he’s never been caught. I... trained with him years ago. I was never able to beat him when we sparred. I’m came close but he always managed to get the upper hand.”

Absolute silence greeted Natasha’s words, Clint’s mouth dropping open in surprise. When he and Natasha sparred, they were about evenly matched so he won about half the time. But he knew exactly how good Natasha was, how many tricks she had up her sleeves. Knowing there was someone out there she _couldn’t_ beat was terrifying. Steve’s face was full of conflicting emotions, pride and sorrow and determination and guilt. Tony was standing next to him with a hand on his shoulder, worry on his face as he studied Steve. None of this was easy for any of them but it had to be so much harder for Steve.

“It doesn’t change anything, though, whether he’s been caught or not,” Coulson said quietly, finally breaking the silence. “He needs to be stopped just as much as Pierce. Steve, maybe you and Tony could go after him while Maria and I take on Pierce. The others will provide a distraction, rescuing any S.H.I.E.L.D. agents held hostage in the building. We can blindfold them and bring them here, test them in the chair. Any Hydra agents we find can then be interrogated.”

“Simple but effective,” Natasha said, nodding. “I like it. When do we start?”

“As soon as we know where Pierce is,” Coulson replied, looking up as a beep sounded from Maria’s pocket. “Maria managed to plant a tracker on his car. Sounds like he just decided to go somewhere. All right people, suit up. We’re taking S.H.I.E.L.D. back. Let’s just hope we have the good fortune to keep it this time.”


	12. Stop

As everyone dispersed to get ready, Steve stayed sitting for a few moments. He couldn’t imagine fighting against Bucky or Bucky trying to kill them all. Honestly, if he hadn’t known Bucky’s voice so well he might not have recognized it in the cold and clinical tone that came over the speakers at headquarters. It was surreal, almost like waking up back in that fake bedroom listening to the ball game he’d actually been to. Tony’s hand on his shoulder was warm and comforting and Steve leaned into the other man for a moment.

“You gotta stop letting it eat at you, Steve. We’re gonna figure this out,” Tony said, a touch awkwardly. He was repeating himself but he didn’t know what else to say. Usually he wasn’t the one dealing with people-problems. Machines, he got. They were easy. But people were messy and complicated and part of why he had had Pepper around. “We’ll get him back. I promise.”

“That’s what I keep telling myself,” Steve muttered, closing his eyes. It figured that once he’d started feeling a little settled and accepting of the time he’d found himself in that everything turned upside down. Taking a deep breath, Steve opened his eyes and pushed himself to his feet. Sitting here worrying wasn’t accomplishing anything and the rest of the team was probably waiting. “Let’s get going. My suit is in my duffel. Give me five minutes to get into it?”

“I’ll meet you on the plane,” Tony said, giving Steve the time alone the other man wanted. “My suit’s on the plane anyway.”

Steve turned away as Tony headed back towards the locked doors. The walk back to their room felt like it took forever even though it was only about a minute. The entire time, and while he was changing into his uniform, Steve ran scenarios through his mind. Could he even fight Bucky? Would Bucky fight on seeing him? What did he remember and how was he working for Hydra? Brain-washing seemed the most plausible scenario though it was painful. And if Bucky always beat Natasha at sparring, how was Steve going to handle fighting him? There was no way he’d try to kill Bucky. But maybe disabling him or hurting him somehow to keep himself safe? That might be the only way to capture him. At least the uniform he’d grabbed from the Tower looked more like his old one than the rest of them. There was a chance Bucky would recognize him in it.

Setting the hood on his head, Steve looked into the mirror in the bathroom. A haunted face met his eyes, though determination was writ across it. It wasn’t every day a man’s best friend came back from the dead. Steve nodded to himself and headed out to join the others. He would save Bucky if it was the last thing he did. Maybe Thor knew something Asgardian to help with brain-washing. After all, the Tesseract came from there and Thor had been around a lot longer than any of them. The doors were open when Steve stepped up next to Tony and Adam stepped out of a nearby doorway with a smile on his face.

“Good luck, everyone,” he told them cheerfully, holding his hand up for a high-five no one gave him. Shrugging, Adam turned to Coulson. “You’ll be able to come back here once you’re done. I highly suggest you tell no one the location of this base until we know for sure whether they’re Hydra.”

“Of course,” Coulson nodded, his tone saying Adam was just telling him something he was already very clear on. “Pierce is moving. Looks like he’s heading into S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters from his home. We need to get going if we’re going to catch him there.”

They all filed out, Adam closing and locking the door behind them. The pilots were in the passenger cabin of the plane, playing poker at one of the tables. They cleaned up quickly and headed to the cabin once Coulson gave them their instructions. While it was odd they were flying back to the exact same place they’d taken off from, they were being paid well to do it. And they’d done stranger things, working for Tony Stark. The flight was mostly silent, Thor looking a little sad as Jane had elected to stay behind at the base. She was a scientist, she’d explained, not a fighter and there was really no place for her in combat. Coulson kept checking his phone, making sure that Pierce’s car hadn’t moved. There was palpable tension in the cabin, much of it coming from Natasha and Clint. While they weren’t the ones going after the Winter Soldier, they knew what he was capable of. And it was terrifying.

Once the plane landed, Tony hefted a heavy-looking suitcase and shuffled out with Steve, Coulson, and Maria behind him. They squeezed into one car left in the parking spaces while the others took the remaining two. Again, silence reigned on the drive back with Coulson looking at his phone and making impatient huffs. At S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, Tony parked towards the back of the building near a discreet, unmarked fire exit. With his suit or Steve’s strength, they’d be able to get in easily. He got out of the car first, stepping into the Iron Man suit that JARVIS folded out of the suitcase. Steve pulled the door open, setting off an alarm inside. Coulson and Maria darted inside, guns drawn and ready. They hurried up the stairs while Tony grabbed Steve and flew up to the top level. Pierce’s office was up there, a bank of windows looking out over the city.

“Coulson, you ready?” Tony asked through the intercoms he’d given to the others, hovering outside the windows. There was no one walking inside but there was a smaller room partitioned off with drawn blinds. Anyone could be in there.

“Not yet,” Coulson replied, panting a little. “A few more floors.”

“Come on, Coulson, move your ass,” Maria cut in, a laugh under her words. “I thought you kept in shape.”

“Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Thor, now,” Steve ordered. “Make as big a distraction as you can and get any hostages out. There should be vans down in the parking garage you can use. Make sure you sweep them for tracking devices.”

“I wouldn’t have known about those,” Natasha replied dryly and Steve could _hear_ her rolling her eyes. “You guys just do your job and let us do ours. Good luck.”

The sounds of screams accompanied the last few words before Natasha’s com cut out. Steve rolled his eyes in return and hoped they would be able to make it out without harm and with as many hostages as possible. He and Tony hovered for about two more minutes until Coulson reported that he was just outside the door to Pierce’s office. It was worrisome that there was no movement at all inside the windows but Pierce could be directing counterattacks from his office. There was no sign of Bucky either but they were sure he was nearby. 

“Close your eyes, we’re going in,” Tony exclaimed, shooting towards the windows. Steve closed his eyes tightly and shielded his face in the crook of Tony’s shoulder, ignoring the little cuts he got from shattering glass. Thankfully, there were only a few and they stopped bleeding quickly. Steve hurried towards the smaller office as Coulson and Maria burst in from the doorway, sweeping the room quickly and following after Steve. He used his shield to bust the door down, pulling it back up as a hail of bullets rained through the open doorway.

“You think I didn’t expect this?” Pierce roared as he fired again. Steve rolled forward, keeping his shield between him and Pierce. There was no one else in the room and a ripple of worry coiled in Steve’s gut. Where was Bucky? “You think I didn’t know your motley group of misfits would be back here once I knew you got away?”

“No, we didn’t think that,” Coulson replied calmly from the doorway. “That’s why we came prepared.”

He fired at Pierce’s head, the bullet letting out a cloud of blue smoke as it hit the other man. Pierce’s eyes rolled up and he dropped to the floor. A strange discoloration flowed from his eyes and down his cheeks, looking almost like shadows. Coulson nodded in satisfaction, sliding his gun back into his holster. He stepped forward as Steve stood up, pulling a zip tie out of his pocket. Steve helped Coulson tie Pierce’s hands together then heaved the unconscious man up onto his shoulders.

“That’s kinda awesome,” Tony remarked from the doorway, faceplate flipping open as he studied Pierce’s face. “What kind of gun is that?”

“It’s called a night-night gun,” Coulson replied, grimacing slightly at the name. “Techs came up with it and named it. Knocks people out for a few hours. It should be long enough for us to get everyone we came for and head back to base. Though I was expecting the Winter Soldier to be here.”

A flash of hope burrowed through Steve’s chest and lodged in his throat. If he could knock Bucky out without hurting him, that would be perfect. Though, it was likely that Bucky had been given a version of the serum that had changed Steve, given how long he’d lived. Would the gun even work on him? But that was something they could figure out, once they found him. Maria rifled through the papers on Pierce’s desk, going through the drawers and piling anything useful on top of the desk. She whistled as she came across a small book bound in brown leather. It was filled with small, careful writing and she held it out to Coulson.

“Pierce kept a list of all Hydra sleepers in government and other high positions,” she explained, a look of amazement in her eyes. “You won’t believe some of the names.”

Coulson read through a few pages, eyes widening as he made it down the list. There were senators and military brass and doctors and lawyers, spanning the whole continent. There were even a few foreign nationals that made their homes in Washington D.C. on the list. The network was surprisingly vast and wielded a terrifying amount of power. He tucked the little book into another pocket as his face set in a determined expression.

“This will go a long way to helping us root out Hydra,” was all he said and Maria nodded. “Let’s go meet the others and find the Winter Soldier. But if we don’t run into him before we find them, we get out of here. We’ve already got the head of the beast.”

“Um guys, we have a problem,” Clint’s voice cut into their conversation. There was screaming through the channel again, though it was two voices this time. One was recognizably Natasha’s as she let out a blood-curdling yell. “There’s a guy with a metal arm here guarding the hostages. Nat’s holding him off but I don’t know how long she can last. They’re moving too much for me to get a clear shot at him. Looks like we found your Winter Soldier.”


	13. Harm

“Where are Bruce and Thor?” Steve asked clinically, hefting Pierce a little higher up on his shoulder. He grunted at the movement, wavering a bit under the weight of the other man. Tony moved to take Pierce but Steve shook his head, wanting Tony’s hands free in case they needed the firepower.

“Bruce is a few floors down, smashing things as fast as he can,” Clint replied, a thread of worry in his usually calm voice. “Thor took the hostages we managed to free out to the parking garage. Nat and I were going for this last room when this guy showed up and ambushed us. You guys need to hurry, Nat’s losing here. We’re on the fifteenth floor.”

Coulson nodded to Maria and ran out of the little office to an elevator on the other side of the large room. He pressed the button and waited impatiently while Maria shuffled her feet. Tony hovered near Steve as they followed, ready to take Pierce from his shoulders if it looked like Steve was going to drop him. Steve shot him a grateful smile, patting Tony’s shoulder. The elevator dinged and all four stepped on, Maria checking the clip on her gun. The ride down was silent and the ding as the elevator reached the fifteenth floor was surprisingly loud. As the doors opened, Coulson and Maria hurried out, crouching down to make themselves less of a target. Tony just strolled out, head swivelling as he looked for Natasha and Bucky. Steve followed more slowly, shifting Pierce as the man started slipping off his shoulder.

They found Clint about halfway down the hallway, sitting in an open vent and staring around the corner of the connecting hallway. Steve dropped Pierce underneath Clint, certain that if the man did wake up, Clint would be able to handle him. Pointing down the connecting hallway silently, Clint met their eyes with a worried look. Coulson was the first to look around the corner, grimacing as he saw Natasha getting slammed into walls by a tall man with long black hair. He was wearing the same uniform Maria had described before though not the mask.

“I’ll try and shoot him with the night-night gun,” Coulson whispered, turning back to the others. “Get ready to deal with him and rescue the hostages behind that door.”

After waiting for confirming nods, Coulson stepped into the connecting hallway and sighted carefully. He waited a few seconds, just long enough for Natasha and Bucky to stop moving and stare at him in surprise. Squeezing the trigger, Coulson shot Bucky in the face, the blue gas erupting around him. He coughed, rubbing at his eyes but still very much conscious. Coulson lowered his gun, eyes widening. He couldn’t believe the gas hadn’t worked. Taking advantage of Natasha’s momentary distraction, Bucky punched her in the gut and knocked her to the floor. She curled around herself, gasping as Bucky started down the hallway towards Coulson. Firing again did no good, the assassin just stepping through each cloud of gas. He reached Coulson just as Steve stepped around the corner, knocking Coulson to the ground.

“Bucky, stop,” Steve said, reaching out to his one-time friend. “We aren’t going to harm you but you need to come with us.”

“Who the hell is Bucky?” the Winter Soldier asked, tilting his head to the side as he stared at Steve. Something flickered in the back of his mind, a vague familiarity and sense that something wasn’t quite right. But his training was too strong and he shrugged it off. Rushing at Steve, he knocked the other man into the wall, hands coming up to wrap around his throat. Steve batted the hands away, frantically trying to come up with a way to stop Bucky without hurting him. They fought back and forth in the hallway, Steve managing to just block the punches and grabs Bucky was throwing at him. Coulson huffed in annoyance and Maria kept her gun trained on both of them, though with growing frustration in her eyes. They were moving too fast for her to be able to get a clean shot.

When Steve slammed into the wall again, letting out an explosive breath at the impact, Tony stepped forward with one hand raised. Whatever Steve might feel about it, Tony wasn’t about to let him get killed. Bucky wasn’t pulling any punches and wore a fixed snarl on his face. _He_ was under no compunctions about not killing Steve. But Steve shook his head frantically as he glanced at Tony, pleading with his eyes. Tony sighed and stepped back, willing to let this fight go on. He didn’t know how much longer they could afford but he could give Steve this time.

“I’m not going to fight you, Bucky,” Steve said, turning back to Bucky and blocking a blow that would have crushed his windpipe. 

“I know you,” Bucky said, stopping for a moment as he tried to wrench his wrist out of Steve’s grasp. The words set off that vague flickering again, as if he really did know the stranger in front of him. “They sent me after you specifically if you ever showed up. You’re my mission. I’m going to kill you.”

“You do know me,” Steve nodded frantically, grabbing Bucky’s neck with his free hand and holding him closer. He forced Bucky to look into his eyes, gripping hard at the back of his neck. “We’re friends. You’ll have to kill me because I won’t fight you. I’m with you until the end of the line.”

Those words struck a chord inside him, much stronger than just seeing the man in front of him did. Bucky stepped back, eyes widening as those words reverberated inside his head. He stared at Steve, years of conditioning warring with repressed memories bubbling just under the surface. Steve took a step towards him, hope lighting his eyes as one hand reached out to Bucky. They stood frozen while Bucky tried to process what his brain was telling him and Steve prayed that he would break out of whatever control he was under. But the tableau was broken when Maria snuck up behind Bucky and smashed the butt of her gun against the base of his skull. Bucky crumpled to the floor, Steve darting forward to catch him. He glared at Maria, who shrugged.

“You were taking too long,” Maria explained. She turned to Clint as the man climbed down from the vent and looked around the corner. “What room were those hostages in?”

“That one,” Clint replied, pointing towards the room directly behind her. “I don’t know how many are in there. I’ll get Nat and then we really should get out of here. I think we might have overstayed our welcome.”

Coulson and Maria got the door open and started helping the hostages out. Each one had some sort of wound, usually a black eye or some sort of cut on cheek or mouth. While that argued in favor of them not being Hydra, there was no point in not being careful. They herded the hostages back to the elevator, intent on reaching the parking garage as quickly as possible. Tony picked up Pierce when he saw Steve carefully gathering Bucky up and slung him over his shoulder. A few floors down, the elevator stopped and the doors opened to show an exhausted Bruce leaning against the wall. He smiled slowly and stepped into the elevator, leaning his head against the side and yawning.

In the parking garage, Thor stood guard over three vans, the seats packed with other hostages. He relaxed when he saw the other Avengers and agents step out of the elevator, lowering Mjolnir and nodding happily. The rescued hostages climbed into the vans gratefully, sagging against each other in relief. A few even had tears running down their cheeks.

“I think we should go,” Thor explained to Tony as Tony dropped Pierce in the back of one of the vans. “I’ve fought off two Hydra attacks. They aren’t happy we are here.”

“We’re on our way,” Tony nodded. “Though we’re going to have to leave a few of my cars. Sucks but we don’t have enough drivers.”

“I can drive,” one agent cut in, raising her hand nervously. Her hair was a tangled mess and a spectacular bruise decorated her left eye and bloomed down her cheek. “Anything to get away from these bastards.”

She climbed into the driver’s seat when Tony nodded, turning the van on and pulling away. The other hostages looked relieved they were finally leaving. A few others from the second van volunteered to drive and Tony directed Thor to get in the van with Pierce. If the man regained consciousness, dealing with an Asgardian god was going to be beyond him. Steve refused to relinquish Bucky, glaring at Tony when the genius suggested dropping him in one of the vans. Tony held up his hands in surrender, just shaking his head. If Steve wanted to carry the guy out to their cars, then he could. Tony could understand it. It must still be surreal for Steve to know that his best friend wasn’t dead. Though Tony did hover a bit as they made their way out, making sure Steve wasn’t going to fall or drop Bucky.

“I can’t believe we did it,” Steve said breathlessly once they were all settled into their cars. Bucky was buckled into the back seat, another three zip ties tying his hands together. Tony wasn’t taking any chances. “We made it out.”

“Yeah, we’re awesome,” Tony grinned, turning on the radio and humming along to Black Sabbath. “Now we just gotta get back and figure out if any of those hostages are Hydra plants.”

“And figure out what happened to Bucky,” Steve said, turning a bit to look back over his shoulder. He smiled gently, overwhelmed. While there had been plenty of bad to deal with, some things were worth the bad. Being with Tony and getting his best friend back definitely qualified. Slowly, he reached over and took Tony’s hand, threading their fingers together. “But if anyone can do it, we can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for staying with me to the end of this fic. I believe this is going to be the last chapter. I don't want to go too far into how Hydra is going to be taken down as we don't really know just yet. I may add one more chapter as an epilogue but this series is indeed finished.


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